Jack Benny and me got a lot in common

Now I know most here may not get the reference as they have never even heard of the man. Back in the 60s when I was a young wee whip snapper not yet dry behind the ears a comedian by the name of Jack Benny showed up on a lot of variety shows. He was obviously in his late 50s or early 60s but when asked his age always said 39. Well today I am 39…
years married that is. On this day in 1982 me and the Mrs. jumped the broom sticks as they used to say down in bayou country when a couple got hitched. But that was not your ordinary wedding. For one it was not even in the US. It was in Kyoto Japan at a place called Otani Honbyo a Buddhist Temple. Pics at the bottom.

Now even that is strange as weddings in Japan are 99.9% of the time done in shrines and 0.05% time done in a church when they choose a western style wedding. So that makes it really weird. Whats more was it was mostly traditional except for the location and the brigdegroom - me. Yep I was dressed in traditional wedding dress, kimono and hakuma. My wife was in the all white kimono with the fancy tradition white makeup and hair do and the special head covering like a western veil.

It was a sizeable get together as my parents flew over to Japan, my Marine brother and his Japanese wife with son were there and they brought her parents and I am glad they did. I will explain that in a moment. There was a missionary lady a very good friend who came to be interpreter for my parents. Sadly I lost her a few years back. Sweet lady. There were 3 other Americans that came with an elderly Japanese lady I knew from base when I was stationed there. She ran an in office coffee shop and we became very close friends. There was another friend there as well. I kind of cheated inviting him. He was the unofficial photographer. He love to take pictures but truly he is a close friend and we are still in touch to this day. He got married became a dentist but still stoops to be friends with low lifes like me. Lastly there were a mess of extended family on my wife’s side some I had met but other I had not.

Funny thing was we had been together for 3 years before we got married. I pretty much lived at her mother’s house when I was not on duty. So a lot of family came and went and I got to meet them. Even so there were many more I did not get to meet till wedding day. One elderly aunt was having a hard time trying to figure out who the bride groom was. As there were 3 of us Americans and not one of us looked like we were all nervous about getting married. That brought a laugh to all of us. Those that knew us knew we did not get all up in arms about getting married. It was just an official ceremony for what we already were long before that. Funny things was we fought like cats and dogs long before we got married even to the point my mother-in-law once commented that we were like a married coupled and finally asked if we had secretly gotten married. That was a good laugh.

So the wedding was held in one building where they have special ceremonies and we had to cross the court yard to another for the reception and it is also a tourist place. So we walk out into the court yard after the ceremony and head down the walk way when a couple of middle aged ladies saw us and freaked out. Speaking in Japanese they said, Look a foreigner is getting married here. It is the word for foreigner they used that got most of us laughing that understood what they said and that word is Gaigin. My parents were clueless as most all of us were laughing at their surprise because the was a sign at street level that announced it. They must have missed it. Anyway that was the official start to being married. We have been together for 42 years and I have known her for 45 in total.


This first picture is the steps from the street to the main gate of the facilityl


This is the main temple where it is said the remains of the founder of that version of Buddhism resides.

Off to the right next to the main temple building, you see a gray and white building over the main court yard and that is where the wedding ceremony was held.

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Happy Anniversary to you and your Mrs !! Congrats on 39 years and thank you for sharing your wedding with us, pics are awesome but where is the pic of the bride and groom? :heart: :smiley:

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Congratulations to you and Mrs. BayouBushi. :slight_smile:
Thank you for sharing your special day with us. Thirty nine years is a great accomplishment.
Here’s hoping you get to spend your next anniversary with your lovely bride in heaven.

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Do you really want to see my ugly mug? Ok but just one.

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What a great wedding picture. I love your wedding garments. Such a pretty bride as well. You are a lucky man.

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That was her one and only change from the all white Kimono. We kind of ran out of time for her to do multiple changes. Yes she is beautiful but that was not what suckered me in. Turns out her Mom had a lot to do with it. But for my wife, she is a down to earth level headed gal for most things and she is smart as well. Besides we like some of the same music, we like foods from all over the world as well we really have a lot in common. One thing for sure if she had passed on the marriage I would be a single man all these years. I doubt I would have found another like her anywhere in the world. So that does make me a lucky man, she can cook, likes food, needs me for everything, and gave me a couple of wonderful kids. I have not a single complaint except we can’t go back and do it all over again.

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Wonderful share Jack / @BayouBushi and congratulations on your near-40 years in the wilderbliss.

For anyone else wondering (wandering?) I took the liberty of highlighting Jack in the photo…

Can only presume the slightly aghast looking woman next to the windows is the happy bride??

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Awwww, that is so nice - wishing you could go back and do it over again. You’re a great guy Jack.

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@jasonacts177 No, no I am the short guy in red and white with my back to the camera. :smiley: :rofl: :crazy_face: :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

Actually that little guy is the first born of my Marine brother who is now a full bird Colonel in the US Air Force. He commands a squadron at an Air Force base in Missouri. His sister a few years younger is an Air Force Lt. Col. Nurse. She lives in my state as her husband is a CW4 in the Army Green Beret at Ft. Lewis. My how time flies.

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Happy 39th Anniversary to you and your lovely wife! :cake: :balloon: :gift:

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Beautiful picture of you and your lovely bride :heart:

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Thank you everyone for all the well wishes on this special day.

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Heartfelt congratulations on your 39th anniversary. It’s a rare accomplishment these days, and truly a testament of your love and commitment for each other. So, if you were going to give advice to a young couple just starting out in marriage, what would you tell them?

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Make the comittment that no matter what, no matter what problems arise, work them out. Be willing to give in sometimes and be willing to stand your ground sometimes. But never be willing to call it off no matter what. We went through years of trying to come to a consensus about so many things, money, raising kids, where to live, how to live, and so on. It was like a cat and a dog in a constant battle. But neither of us were willing to call it quits ever. Our goal was and still is till death do us part.

When you are not going at it then make it fun, make it memorable, share everything, keep no secrets. Lastly talk a lot about everything, where and how the money is spent, what the kids are doing, how to deal with them when they misbehave, and so on. Along that lines spend time with those kids constantly, get involved in their activities, friends as well in each other’s activities and friends. And the final part of that talking is don’t do it over each other, take the time to listen to what is being said, how it is being said. This is how you get to intimately know one another and then you will find the way to stay together through it all.

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WOW! Great response and lots of good advice.

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Most important thing and that came from the military is complete the mission at all cost. That means dogged determination to see it to the end no matter what.

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I noticed your mission statement. There’s too much to comment on with your words of wisdom. However, just a quick observation, I see love, respect, teamwork, and you both are your best friends. If the rapture doesn’t happen in the next year, I think you both got a pretty good shot at 40 years—Just say’in…

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So my daughter made us a dish not long back called Pasta da Roma with crushed black pepper on top. Well, the beautiful bride of mine immediately set out to figure how to make it even more to our liking. We came up with adding some seafood and veggies to the mix. So this is now Pasta da Roma ala Louigi’s bambino. It has shrimp, clams, and scallops for seafood. It has for veggies, spinach, baby bella’s shrooms, artichoke hearts, and black olives. Once that was all sauted in butter the cooked pasta was added and some white wine and it was mixed up well like tossing a salad. That was allowed to get good and hot and then olive oil was adde along with salt, pepper, garlic powder(out of garlic) a hint of ginger and some Italian seasoning. That was all mixed well and allow to cook for a few minutes. Finally it was topped with gourmet Parmesean and Romano grated cheese and one more mixing. Upon serving it was topped with a couple heaping spoons of Artichoke and lemon pesto. Mmmmmm Good.

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On words of wisdom to a long marriage a thought came to mind on the drive home tonight. Yes make the commitment and stick to it all cost but, more than that is the love aspect of any marriage. I am not talking the early days infatuation with each other, the constant thinking of each other, each others looks handsome or beautiful but the love Jesus spoke of when He said, “No greater love hath a man than he lay down his life for his brother.” Well the same is true in marriage. To have a long marriage both husband and wife must put their life aside for the other. What I mean is make sacrifices. For instance it is Sunday and the Super Bowl is on and your wife needs your help to load up the car and take some stuff over to her mother. You know you will miss the whole game if you do. Do it anyway. You can watch highlights later. For the wife, your husband has planned a weekend fishing trip and he does not tell you it is with your boss and she has plans to clean out the garage that same weekend. Let him go anyway. He may be schmoozing the boss because he is in line for a promotion. In both examples the husband and the wife put aside their desires for the other. That is the laid down their life for the other. Marriage is about sacrifice and sharing that sacrificing for each other and when kids come along the same for them. \

In our marriage we both work but I can cook just as well as my wife. On my days off I cook and sometimes I cook big so there are a lot of left overs so when my wife has to make dinner because I am working late all she has to do is warm them up. That way till I get home she can other things she needs to get done and we can still eat a good meal with little effort. My work clothes can get really dirty so instead of her washing them hers and the kids clothes I wash my own. I could have left them for her to do but she has enough on her plate as well. Besides it is no skin off my back because we have a washer and dryer. But I go out of my way to make it easier for her when she does do the wash for her and the kids. Some times there is an affair at work and she wants to bring something so she will ask me to maybe bake some cookies, a cake, or pie or some other treat. I have things I was planning to do but I put them on the back burner for the evening and make what she asked for. She then says she will cook on my day off so I can get to what I put aside for her.

The truth is, it is not what you get out of marriage but what you put into it that determines how successful it will be. So the best advice is lay down your life for you spouse. That is the true measure of love. That kind of love smooths out a lot of the bumps in the road when you are racing break neck speed into the future.

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Words of wisdom concerning marriage…

Unequally yoked…been there, done that​:woman_facepalming:. Save yourselves a whole heap of misery y’all and listen to the Lord. He’s always right :wink:.