My salvation story is actually very very long, so I’ll trim it down for everyone.
I was once living a terribly disgusting life full of sex and drugs. I was shameless and often created hatred in the other people in my life. At one point in time, my sister disowned me. Then my coworkers made a death threat to me that if I wasn’t careful, they’d “cut” me, which means they were threatening to stab me. I felt bullied by these drug dealing, sick and miserable people, and in a way I was, but it was also partly my fault for being around them.
So the day after the threat, I was sitting in my apartment, considering whether or not I should tell management about the incident, as it had happened at work. I decided that it would be wise to let them know. I did so the following day. It didn’t take long for my world to come crashing down on me. It’s hard to describe all of the things that happened after I left work, but suffice it to say that I was absolutely terrified. I was sick from loss of appetite, hadn’t slept more than four hours at a time for weeks, and I was stoned on marijuana which made my mental state worse. I was at the breaking point.
Then, as I was in my home worrying and paranoid from the pot I felt the strangest thing. It felt as though something evil was surrounding me and I could instinctively feel that I was headed for a death. I stood in my living room, trying for dear life to calm down and reach a point of rationality or comfort or anything which would relieve the pressure of my whole life. I did something in that moment which really came out of nowhere. I called out in that mental/spiritual voice we all use when praying without our mouths, “Jesus, help me!”
What happened next was both earthshattering and relieving. It was as if my anxiety was a dam overflowing to bursting and then it broke open. Jesus immediately arranged for my whole life to be taken out of my control. The police got involved in my situation, a friend came to my aid, I left town to stay with family for a week or so, and then I wound up in the hospital where I received treatment for a disorder that I had no idea about for my entire life, post year three. My family and I had been trying to solve the mystery that was my constant anxiety and emotional torment, but couldn’t find a doctor who was able to decipher my illness. But all that changed when I found myself standing in the hospital, looking outside and thinking “this can’t be happening to me”.
What I didn’t realize was that what the Lord was doing was designed to knock the evil off of my back and out of my life so that I could think straight. He was healing me from all angles. One of my cars, most of my furniture, the bulk of my debt and my place of residence were stripped from me. I retained what I considered to be miniscule property and heaps of shame. After the police came to my house to take a report the night I called on Jesus, brothers and sisters came out of nowhere, some wearing crosses around their necks, most not, and they gently and lovingly guarded me and guided me back to my family where I was safe.
It was a violent way to come to salvation but I’m so thankful that it happened that way because it taught me that no matter how desperate, horrible, terrible and crazy things get, the Lord will carry me through. I later asked Him for confirmation that it was He who saved me and not just my imagination. He proved it without the shadow of a doubt that He was God, had saved me from danger, and had done so without pause. I wish I could stand to tell you more but my history is so painful and embarrassing that I just can’t. Just trust me when I tell you that I surely would not have survived intact without Him entering my life.
I’ll just say that when you hear Jesus’ actual, literal voice and then see His image there is no room for doubt that He is the Messiah!