LSD and how it affected us

Edit: I realize this post might appear to violate code of conduct. it’s all up to the moderators, on that note. here is the code and my comments on it:

“Abortion, adultery, premarital sex, and drug use may be discussed, but encouraging participation in these activities is not allowed. Illegal activities may not be encouraged or promoted.”

I can see how someone would want to fit my post in this box. if you consider it that, well perhaps my post does toe the line in some way, and I guess I wouldn’t hold it against the mods if they just want my post gone.

but… my rebuttal is, my post never once says that LSD was, like, medicine. I did not ever say that other people should even try it. In fact I added a disclaimer at the top, stating that I am not encouraging people to take harmful substances into their bodies. it’s your choice what you consider to be harmful or unharmful. it’s an illegal one I’m using, but again, I did not encourage or promote- I made it clear this was a personal choice, it might not be right for you, and maybe not even for me. but we all know crooked people are making laws in the USA, so it’s not like we really look to them for our sense of morality, right? God’s truth trumps everything else. I’m not all that informed about how LSD is made but it’s something I’ve taken SOME time to explore, not a lot.

I’m open to someone expressing concern over me, I mean, I see red flags throughout my post that could cause someone to think I’m off about something.

but please try to see where I’m coming from and let me know if you have a problem with my post. in my mind, I’m being honest about something that deeply impacted me the other day. why pretend to be a squeaky-clean person who only leans on God? lol, He knows that I don’t always lean on Him. and He also knows that I used the drug out of total leisure, not some form of running away from Him. I might not be perfect in my post here, but I’m being real. hope you’ll give me a chance. again I am not promoting or encouraging the use of LSD. that’s not the point of my story here. it’s not like I needed it in order to get closer to truth. it just slowed my husband and me down enough to relax beyond usual measures and work on our deep-rooted issues more than usual. and in the days that followed, we continue to unearth SO much. it’s not about LSD. it’s just a drug and I do not encourage anyone to try it. I’m just being honest about what happened in my life with it. and I am genuinely curious whether anyone else here has been down that path and what they think. y’all are Christians, I respect your opinions more than those of one that does not care about the Bible or Jesus.

end of edit.

<3

if it’s not okay to talk about “drugs” then feel free to delete my post… I have a reason for raising the topic here and am definitely not trying to condone someone going and making a big mistake by taking harmful substances into themselves.

some of you may have tried LSD before. I don’t know how you feel about it. I used it as a teen and it was great but I decided after a few times that “I’ve seen what I need to see,” and I thought I wouldn’t do it again. I didn’t find it harmful. it just drains you a little bit at the end, alcohol is worse. but I just felt that to continue using it would be overindulgent and could POSSIBLY be harmful, to make a habit out of it. so I took those wonderful experiences and let them be memories.

well that changed recently. someone owed my husband money. after like 2 months, he still hadn’t paid him. finally he asked if he could pay us off via a strip of LSD. we wanted to say no, but at the same time my husband felt it was the only shot at getting something back from him, so he accepted.

I was leery of taking it. I didn’t trust this guy anymore, so who knows where he got this from and what’s really on the strip? but we took a chance. it was nice actually. it was like rolling a vacation into one single day. we had a great time uncovering deep rooted issues, like why my husband “tortures himself” via not taking good care of himself. it was beautiful to uncover these layers of pain and realize why we do some of the things we do.

it was so nice, that I got the idea that hey, let’s try splitting the remainder of the strip once we get a chance. a couple weeks later, which was 2 days ago, we finally had a full day to ourselves. we split the strip. it hit me hard and I was afraid for a minute. but I got in the shower and that made me feel better. I also hadn’t had water or food yet really. so that had been the main issue, feeling faint over that.

you guys… I had not anticipated how it would turn out. I’ve never done that much LSD at one time. we enjoyed being in the shower, getting all soaped up and talking about life.

we spent the whole day at home, talking about life continuously. I had expected an awesome trip, and it was, but I had NOT expected what we would uncover.

we have been through a lot as a couple. there is a lot of pain from our early years together. we found ourselves uncovering ALL these layers. there have been blockages up between us over the pain that’s been caused. we talked it all out. he gave me so much assurance, I was able to express myself better than ever before, and he healed those wounds.

we uncovered all those things that still hurt. I had not expected this. visually, things were super interesting, but the visuals weren’t what rocked my world. it was the fact that we were uncovering all the spiritual nonsense that has plagued us and not gone away.

I’d had a special dream the night before, and by the end of the LSD trip I found that I know what the dream meant. it was a message from God:

in the dream, a rabid raccoon was coming toward me. in fear, I quickly went into my house. my husband was there, and I asked him to help me shut the door quickly, to keep the raccoon from coming in. he helped me hold the door shut, but to no avail, because it opened more than wide enough to let the rabid raccoon through.

at this point, I’m like, well too late now, we will have to just deal with this…

next thing I know, the raccoon is snuggled up in our bed, sitting comfortably in the middle of a pile of sheets, content- and NOT rabid anymore!!

the dream soon ended. I didn’t know what it meant, when I woke up. but that’s the day we did the LSD. so by the end of the trip, after all the spiritual connection we’d made together and all we had healed and promising words we’d given each other, I suddenly realized what the dream meant!! it was a message from God…

I had been so afraid of the sickness- rabies, in the dream- coming into my place of security. being hurt by a sick being. but when that doomed, sick being came into my home in the dream, it was automatically healed… and it was sitting in the middle of the sheets. my husband had helped me protect our home, and the raccoon was healed upon entering it. our BED was a place of healing. our marriage bed. the symbol of us being a wedded couple. the sickness was cured. our bed is safe.

that was my sign from God, 1, not to fear any sickness. 2, our bed is clean. I don’t need to worry anymore.

I have held back on fully trusting my husband. he was not in a good place when I met him, and he lied to me many times. he didn’t know how bad he really was until he got in deep with me in life. he has come really far, but because of the past, I have held off on completely trusting him, not wanting to get hurt. inevitably, I haven’t 100% given myself to him, one foot slightly out the door, ready to jump if he really does me wrong one day. it’s not healthy for us, but I didn’t know how else to live!! it’s been like 3 years since any of that happened. I haven’t been able to fully move on.

having all that spiritual connection, uncovering all those layers of issues, meant a lot. but it’s that dream I’d had the night before, that means the most. God knew what we were going to do that day. the dream came first. and once we’d given all our words to each other, so articulately, I deciphered that dream, and knew it had been God telling me, that I can trust my husband now. our bed is pure. I don’t have to worry anymore that those things will happen again.

my husband’s word had not been enough. I’d needed God’s help. that dream seals the deal- I believe my husband now. I do think he’s really in this, I have no fear anymore.

the past 2 days now, I’ve seen im a different person. I’m even more eager to please my husband. I’m going the extra mile more than ever. I feel even more affectionate toward him, being completely trusting that I’m depositing myself into someone that will never betray me and will always love me and protect me. id been holding back out of fear. I’m no longer afraid.

then to top it all off, in our reading through the Bible venture together, the Psalms we read last night were 56 and 57: Talking about trusting God.

it’s all so perfect. I know LSD is illegal but seriously alcohol is terrible and yet it’s widespread. I don’t care about drug laws, it’s all about knowing what you’re doing and how it will affect you. we took a risk trying it the first day, not knowing the source well, and I’m glad it worked out. I had not expected LSD to trigger something like this, but it was needed. I’m a changed person. my husband also healed so many wounds from both our pasts, things that happened before we got together. I have so much baggage from past relationships etc, and so does he (which is why he’d done me wrong in the first place so long ago), and we really helped each other on those things that hurt.

now, these past two days, I don’t feel so burdened by those things. I remember a painful moment from an old boyfriend, and I’m quickly able to tell myself that my husband is here to save the day. I never have to go back to that pain. I don’t have to rehash it so hardcore like I have been. I can move ON now. into a new life.

we also talked about trusting God in whether it’s good to have a baby or not. we ultimately decided we will trust God. I remembered that I shouldn’t have aborted my first baby, even though it had been a tough situation. and I remember what led to meeting my future husband: Telling God once and for all that obviously I dont know how to find the right person for me. I gave myself to God, telling Him that He knows my happiness better than I do, and I would trust Him with my future, even if I have to be single forever… within days or weeks is when my future husband entered my life.

so those 2 things, along with the Psalms we just read, we feel settled. we will spend a couple months getting my body to be healthier- and his too- and then we will throw caution to the wind, letting God decide if I will get pregnant, and what the results will be.

I am not afraid of covid or any other illness anymore. I babysat my nephew yesterday because he has a cold and can’t go to daycare cause of it. normally, I’d say sorry I can’t watch him because he’s sick. but because of the rabid raccoon dream, I was not afraid. maybe I’ll catch the cold, maybe I won’t, but I’m done being afraid. I think God really has me, even if I have to suffer for Him. I’m done being afraid of having a baby, or getting sick, or of my husband going back to his old ways. I’m in this now.

thank you God. not for LSD necessarily. right now for everyone else’s clarification, I’m just thanking you for bringing us out of such a funk.

curious if any of you have had an experience like this, or if you look down on me now. I haven’t done LSD in many years and so it’s not something I will make a habit. I’m probably done with it until I’m 70 now lol. it was just an opportunity. that guy made us mad since he didn’t want to pay us back, but he did give us a good gift. I had no idea it would trigger such spiritual and marital healing for my husband and me. wondering your thoughts on this kind of thing.

I have a friend whose sister died on LSD because she walked off a cliff accidentally. not a safe place to drink or anything like that, so it wasn’t the LSD’s fault. not trying to promote LSD here , I am only stating my own personal experience and it could be off. I am open to criticism and concerns.