My online church community is all I have left

I was attacked by the neighbor’s dog and then the neighbor
I’m having a great deal of anxiety over something that occurred Friday night. I’m so angry it’s tormenting me and can’t seem to let it go. I live in a large apartment complex for elderly and disabled (I’m the latter). After coming home late from a dr app and a disheartening visit with my oldest son in a nearby town (stopping even, to cry, halfway home) I was exhausted and only wanted to get to my apartment and lie down when I was charged by a large aggressive dog between my car and the entryway. This same dog charged me and my toddler grandson (after jerking the leash out of its’ owners’ hand just 2 weeks prior, which I reported to management). I was yelling at the dog to stop and get back when she came around the corner telling me the dog wouldn’t harm me. I said “that’s what you said last time, this is twice now, you need to keep that dog on a leash!” I told her that her dog was not well trained as she claimed and it was aggressive. She kept yelling at me that I was crazy, accusing me of kicking her dog and walked up to me in a threatening way. I said “you say the dog is not aggressive, but you sure are!” She slammed her hand into my chest and shook me by my clothing, drew her other hand back to punch me and I shouted “I’m calling the police!” She let go. I called the police and told them I’d just been assaulted (and by state statute, I was!). Even while on the phone with dispatch, the woman threatened to choke me, she threatened it again in the presence of the manager when she came outside, before the cops arrived. She said all kinds of wicked things about me that were outrageous lies, like I was racist and I smoke weed in my home all day. I don’t even know this person and keep completely to myself except when my grandson comes once a week. The cops didn’t do one thing. They said I wasn’t assaulted and had to learn to live with this person in the same general space. The landlord defended her saying the dog was harmless and she keeps it on the leash. She refused to show proof I’d reported the earlier incident. Who knows what this evil liar said to the cops, because he asked me what names I called her (I think she was trying to get me charged with a hate crime?) and that he didn’t like my attitude (I was crying and shaking so bad I had to sit down by this point). The landlord said, because I called the police I will get an infraction if this happens again.
I’m soooooo mad. I shouldn’t be. I know I’m supposed to pray for her, because she is definitely my enemy, but I literally want to move because I’m afraid of what she will do to me.
Some of you already know, I’ve got too much on my plate as it is. I’m basically home bound from illness, my pain is not well controlled (years of pain), I can’t do any of the things that used to bring me joy. My son is sick and the other one can’t stand me. I feel as though I’ve lived my entire life in vain, always trying to put other’s needs ahead of my own, and now nobody helps me and they treat me like I’m crazy because I try to warn them of the times we’re in and teach them about Jesus. I’m nauseous, I hurt, and am just so tired of everything. Being this sick makes it tough to be joyful and filled with praise (which I feel guilty about). I feel as though I’ve lived my entire life in vain, even though throughout most of it, (I had a few rebellious years) I’ve tried to do the right thing and treat people the way I want them to treat me. And I tried so hard to learn scriptures, faithfully raise my kids in church, serve, be obedient and PRAY! I really need help and I really need to feel God’s embrace and assurance and His peace! Sorry this is all about “me.” I don’t have anyone else to talk to.
Just a few more prayers, please, before we got home??? I know your prayers are effective, because of how God has heard them regarding my sick son. You don’t have to write them here, just knowing that you prayed helps me tremendously. I will feel them​:heart::pray:t3::latin_cross:

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@ALIYAH
I most certainly will be praying for you!
Just a suggestion, if you have a cell phone, have it at the ready and video record the dog and woman if it happens again to you to show your manager, and the police if necessary. Yell for help if it happens, perhaps another tenant will see what happens, or record it. Call from your car if a neighbor is willing to come out and walk you home. Be safe God loves you!
Agape,
Ken

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@ALIYAH I am praying for you right now :pray: “Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.[YAHWEH] ” Ps.31:24

Doc

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this is not “all about” you. do not worry about looking self-centered, because you don’t. what an insane situation. id be completely frustrated, disheartened, disappointed, all those things if I were you. on top of what led you to stop on the way home in the first place to cry over what had happened regarding your son.

what do you do, when the people who should be standing up for you, the cops nor your landlord- whom you’ve reported this dog to before- are condemning you and warning you against reporting things again? this is outrageous. the wrong things are working against you. I don’t blame you at all for reacting the way you do and needing our comfort.

I am praying for you. if this dog is aggressive, chances are that it will pursue someone else in the future. which is an awful thing to consider, but basically I have hopes that something will be done about this dog later. I wonder why the landlord favors that tenant. there might be some kind of story there.

as for the cops, that’s a scarier situation, because what if you need to call them again in the future and yet they already don’t take you seriously? I am not law-literate so I don’t know what steps you could take to fix that, but it seems very wrong that they would ignore your cause and label you as the troublemaker.

is there any other similar apartment building you could move into? I realize it must be hard to move but I’m at least seeing if it’s an option. because it seems that place is in no way safe or secure for you. that dog could hurt someone who’s not disabled, let alone someone like you. and the landlord will not stick up for you. I am praying for something to come up where your situation changes somehow. because this doesn’t seem healthy at all, neither short-term nor long.

I am praying over whatever situation is going on with your oldest son. my heart breaks for you not even knowing what that story is. may God take all your tears of crying out to Him, and make something beautiful of it. may He send ample help to keep you safe. I pray for deliverance from this volatile situation. I’m praying that your son who cant stand you is kept safe and has someone to communicate freely with, like you do. I pray that God will illuminate his sight so he will be humbled and try to fix things with you. I am praying for your other son’s health, his spiritual health most of all, so that he can withstand any physical issues with grace and love. may God give you opportunities to show your love to both your sons.

I don’t know how much time we have left here and it sometimes seems I will just have to accept a few things as they are, trusting God to enable me to handle what I can and pray over the rest by the end of the day. things have been tight, suffocating, overwhelming, and it’s my relationships, including any lack of them, that have been the most important to assess. moving forward in love the best we can.

this classic song, based on Bible verses, has been extremely comforting to me lately in the thick of toiling relationships , both casual and close, all around me:

“Lord, thou hast been our refuge, from one generation to another. before the mountains were brought forth, or ever the earth and the world were made, thou art God, from everlasting, and world without end. Thou turnest man to destruction; again, thou sayest: Come again, ye children of men, for a thousand years in thy sight are but as yesterday, seeing that is past, as a watch in the night.”

<3

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I absolutely will have my phone ready from now on, as well as mace! It all happened so suddenly, there was no time to dig my phone out of my purse. But if she, or her dog, touches me again she will most certainly regret it. It’s just so frustrating to be the victim and be treated like I was the one at fault. God sees everything. When we go to live with Him, we will have a just and righteous ruler, because those days are over in this world.
@ToMakeAmendsIm thank you so much for the kind words of understanding and especially for your prayers for my sons.

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Thanks Doc. :innocent:

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What an awful dark world this is,
I’m so sorry this happened :disappointed:

Praying for you :heart::pray::heart:

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@ALIYAH
Still praying for you, look for private mail.
Ken

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My heart goes out to you, I fully understand your loneliness and feelings of abandonment by mankind. The world has become indifferent to others needs, and cares nothing about upsetting them. They get a thrill of some kind by making others feel uncomfortable, outcast and unwanted.
Asking for help and reassurance from fellow believers isn’t self centred at all, it shows that we must mean a lot to you and that our support means a great deal. I’m in a very similar situation and know how isolation from society can hurt and impact on us very deeply. It magnifies even the smallest rebuke, though what you experienced must have been awful, they hold such anger and hate, you wonder where it comes from. The world is under the spell of satan, people have become hard and callous and don’t care about others feelings. Even Christians under pressure from this corrupt and evil world are finding it hard to not to hit back. The very air around us seems at times to be heavy with some kind of dark, depressing and angry spirit, its affecting everyone to some degree. Myself included, we need to pray harder, draw ourselves closer and focus on the finish line, where Jesus stands with arms outstretched. keep going, we must pray for them, after all we know what’s ahead and most have no idea what is coming… I’m praying for you, I’ll pray for her too, and her dog!! Enjoy your time with your grandchild such a blessing…
God bless xx

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@ALIYAH
I am so sorry that these people showed you no mercy.
All I can do is say a prayer for you.
You are loved by us all!!

And a Word…

I know you know it…just take this in Word by Word and you will find peace for your soul.

23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Also…Everything past is past.
Go and lie down. Have some tea. Put on some music softly in the background…and remember:

All my love. K

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Oh my dear sweet sister. I am so sorry to hear of all this. I’m in an abusive marriage and every time I reach out for help I’m turned away, treated like it’s my fault, if only I would submit more and turn the other cheek. And then you call places that are suppose to help and they don’t have the capacity to even call back, you reach out to friends or the body of Christ and they don’t know what to say or do let alone get involved to HELP.

So I am here, GRIEVING for you, hurting with you and knowing how bleek it all seems that you get to the point that asking for help is pointless, you shut down and then people point at you and blame you for that too. It’s unbearable, it is unjust, it is cruel and I want to validate how you feel. Utterly alone and unprotected even though you tried to ask for help.

I’m praying for you now and ask that the Lord would step in. He is close to us that face such vile treatment. He does come to our defense, though we just often don’t SEE anything for some time. I’m broken over all you already suffer and then this on top of it.
Please cry to the Lord, though I am sure you do, just as I do, staining my pillows every day and night. Sister I’m so sorry. I am so deeply sorry. I know the Lord is coming soon. We see such wickedness and I hope that since the time we have left is so short, that the Lord will move on your behave quickly as I hope He does for me as well.

  • Fellow oppressed sufferer.

Lord you see and know all. You know each pain in detail.

Please restore the oppressed and deal with the oppressors of the ones that trust in You!
In Jesus name, Amen

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I thank you for your prayers…even after all of this time. The assault is water under the bridge by now, though I stay completely away from the woman who attacked me. My physical illness and pain however, continues to progress to the point of unbearable. Doctors have been useless and I now lay in a recliner stuffed with pillows and 3 layers of egg-crate foam bedding every day. I don’t know how much longer I can bear it.
As far as your situation is concerned, I am intimately acquainted with the cycle of violence in partner abuse. My boys’ father was a monster. When we first married, I was too young to understand that anyone could be so charismatic in public, yet so abjectly cruel and deceitful behind closed doors. I pray that you will endeavor to educate yourself. I remember trying marriage counseling, including Christian counseling, year after year, and STILL couldn’t understand why my home was always in misery and turmoil. It haunts me to this day, half a lifetime later. When I finally left, put myself through nursing school, and studied psychology as part of my required coursework, I realized my ex-husband behaved the way he did because he is a sociopath. I’d no idea people without a conscience…without the capacity for empathy or remorse existed until then. There really are too many. Both male and female. Even in the church. He is currently on wife number 4, having left the first 3 of us with PTSD. His mental illness broke our children, too. Were it not for my desire to prevent them from experiencing a broken home, as I had, I’d have gotten us all out of there sooner. But hope springs eternal, as they say, and with A LOT of pressure from my church, I stayed and prayed my heart out for many years. Though his abuse continued even after the divorce, I still try to pray for him, for the sake of his current wife, our sons and grandchild.
I hope and pray you are not in physical danger, though it is well established that emotional abuse is just as harmful, and that you will be guided by the Holy Spirit while navigating your situation. Abuse is not love no matter how many “I’m sorries” you hear. Jesus warned us the time was coming that many men would be lovers of self, pleasure, disobedient to God. That time is now and we are told to turn away from such. Remember this. God has a plan for you and He will make a way.
I hunger and thirst for the righteous Kingdom of God and the merciful peace love and harmony we will know, together, when reunited with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I have watched and waited for so long, just as you must.

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You said so much there. The spirit of the age, according to scripture, including Timothy which you sources, is in fact, selfish, narcissistic, without love or concerns for others or the pain caused to others. I can not relate to being that way.

Your continued prayers for your ex show what a beautiful heart you have.

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I will pray for you.
We have similarities with our neighbors.
They do their laws!
It’s better to be smart with this kind of people, they have nothing good in the head and don’t care of their eternity.
Try to find solutions, avoid them.
Don’t talk to them if you see they will not change.

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@ALIYAH how are you?

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It’s so kind of you to ask. The summer was not what I had imagined. Things are still difficult, but today is a very good day, and for that I am grateful. Bless you today and always while we await our Savior’s call from the clouds​:relaxed::pray:t3::heart::latin_cross:

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