Dear forum members, I could really use your prayersupport.
I am very sad and discouraged bc of an email conversation with my brother. Long story short… he proposed email contact in order to get a better understanding of where we stand in life and what makes us tick so to speak. While he is my brother I don’t see him very often as he lives in Switserland and he is almost 15 years older so was already out of the house when I grew up.
So he asked me a lot of questions about my beliefs about covid, vaxx, abortion, the lgbt alphabet, my religion etc, etc…
Well… I answered them in steps (it was 12 questions and that takes time) and this morning after I had sent the 2nd bunch of answers got a reply that really upset me. He used to be a therapist and I feel that is also how he views the world. He wants to probe and see what makes people do what they do, but he has trouble with people who think in absolutes as that is often a major conversationstopper.
Am I making myself clear so far?
Ok, well, his reply this morning was that he really had a problem with my indiscriminate way of thinking. He wrote it very therapeutically but still it really hurt me. There was more but too difficult for me to find the right words to explain. The Lord knows!! But now I am really unsure if my reply/answers to my brother were ok in God’s eyes.
I know I am not perfect, but today I have the feeling that whatever I do it’s never good enough. Believe me, I know Gods words about how He sees me and feels about me, but my heart and soul are sad and in pain and it feels like God’s words don’t connect with me.
Maybe I’m just feeling sorry for myself (a huge talent I have), but I sure could use prayer that God Himself will reveal what I should or shouldn’t do or say.
Let me end by saying that I am so grateful for all my online brothers & sisters…
Dear forum members, I could really use your prayersupport.
I hear so much love and longing in your request. . . Longing to be a witness for Jesus. . . Longing to say the right thing. . . To draw your brother closer . . . To be understood . . . to show your brother God’s truth. . . instead your words are rejected and criticized. . . And the doubt? And discouragement sets in . . . Jesus understands. I understand. Seems at these times the enemy taunts and makes it hard for God’s whispers of love and encouragement to find their way from our heads to our hearts. Take heart! You have planted the seeds!! May the Holy Spirit do the rest!! And may our merciful Father flood your heart with an assurance of his love and delight in you, his precious daughter, who has NOT been ashamed or afraid to speak truth from God’s word to this worldly brother.
*Father, though her brother doesn’t go with her, Jeanet is following you! Bless her efforts to speak truth in love to those who ask about her faith. May the seeds she has planted in her brother’s life lead to his salvation. Send someone to water them! And fill Jeanet with perfect peace about this conversation. Fill her with the Joy of you! Oh Father, don’t let the enemy rob her of ability to hear, to feel, to know how great your love is for her! Let today be filled with little gifts of assurance to bless her heart! May we have because we ask in the name of Jesus! Amen!!
I read your post, my heart and goes out to you. I have decided to forgo all my lofty opinions on what you are going through.
I believe that would just be another human opinion, like your brothers.
I do know Jesus loves you with a love I will never be able to communicate with mere mortal words, a Love beyond human understanding.
So I am putting you and [your hearts prayer request] into HIS Hands, and asking that His will be done in your life, and your brothers. Doc
I will be bless to pray for you. Siblings can be hard to understand my beloved. As a member of God family sounds like you have done your best to be understanding and answer questions truthfully. So I would not second guess your feelings and maybe it’s time to move off that subject matter. I love my own siblings but I don’t have much in common with them. And we disagree on a lot of things but that okay. I don’t see them much but when I do we talk about things that don’t make wave so to speak.I think maybe you need to trust your own feeling and tell your brother to probe else where, like in the Bible. So I hope you feel better about your self, if you don’t care you would not have ask for prayer. God bless you, hang in there and praise God.
@Amy143 Thanks! No, it’s definitely not easy but maybe also a lesson for me. I have always been very conflict avoidant so this is a great moment to lay it all at His feet! I’ll pray the HS will show me when to answer or when just to walk away.
Oh how I can relate!!
That’s just a lie from the devil. He likes to use those close to us to get us to conform to the ways of the world. So, he used your brother to get you to doubt yourself and your beliefs.
I respect that your brother is an educated man who has studied the mind and human behavior, but can he see the soul? Does he see the heart? Our Savior can. This forum offers just a small slice of humanity that has been touched by the ultimate sacrifice that a sinless man made on our behalf. There are some true miracles happening. Our God is alive and well and still in control! Hallelujah!
I read this paragraph just a few days ago, and I thought of it when I read your post this morning. It is from the book Lord, Heal My Hurts by Kay Arthur:
“Do not think that the spiritual part of you belongs to God, and thus can be healed by God, but that the psychological part must be healed through man’s wisdom. The one who created you, who formed you—body, soul, and spirit—is not only your creator, He is also your sustainer.”
As someone who is surrounded by misguided loved ones, I realize how painful their assessments can be, and I am praying for you to draw nearer to God who will never leave nor forsake you. I pray that God speaks to you very clearly today and guards your mind and heart from false words or doubts that try to gain entry.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen
When I read this I had to question what his motive was. Sounds like he’s treating you more like a client or someone ‘sizing up the competition’ than a family member. Honestly, makes my blood boil.
I had an issue with my older brother years ago. He asked my husband & I to come over to talk with him & his wife about our plans to go into full time mission work. When we got there the ‘conversation’ was pretty much a one sided opinion piece. Despite the fact that we had already gone through training and been accepted by Wycliffe/JAARS, our pastor was behind us in the decision and we were support raising at that point, my brother looked us straight in the eyes and told us he didn’t think we were ‘called’ to be missionaries–got the impression it was ‘just a job change’ for my husband, he didn’t think we had the same level of passion that his missionary friends had, he was on his church’s missionary committee so ‘he ought to know’, etc. Don’t remember if it came up but I’m pretty sure he was also opposed to us selling our house in preparation to move before we finished raising support. Frankly, it was like a punch in the gut & I was too shocked & upset to say much after that. I was just trying to mentally process and keep from turning into a puddle of tears.
When we got home I was still dumbfounded at the whole conversation, but knew God had plans to use us so I knew we would be OK in the end. However, my husband was devastated! He had been a Christian about 5 years at that point and really wanted to follow God’s plan for His life. To have your bold leap of faith shattered by an older, ‘wiser’ Christian sent him into a huge bout of questioning & discouragement. We worked through it and 16ish years later, we can confidently stand before God knowing we followed his lead through all of it.
All that to say, I might know a little how you are feeling and DO NOT let the ramblings of an older brother’s opinion label you as indiscriminate (reading/following the Bible’s truth=discerning), cloud your view of who God is, what His plans for you (& humanity) are and how much He loves you!!!
Praying for you!!!
I am praying for you and your brother. God will use the words you shared with your brother for His purpose Irregardless of how we may feel about ourselves. Trust that God will continue to guide you in responding to your brother and rest in His ability to guide you in your words. Continue to be obedient to Him - He will do the rest. We have no control over how others will respond - that is not our worry. God will work things for His purpose. Be encouraged.
I’m glad I found the part where you asked your question because I hope and pray you never have to resort to how I used to be and tear someone to shreds with words alone. So, without knowing your answers to the questions, all I can ask you is this:
- Were you honest in your responses to him?
If the answer is yes, then I’m sure your answers were acceptable in God’s eyes. There are things in this world we are not meant to like not because they go against this or that, but because in God’s eyes they are wrong. After all, that’s what we hear regarding the ten commandments; They aren’t wrong because they’re forbidden, they are forbidden because they are wrong (sans honoring your mother and father, that seems to be a positive one to do). And, according to James, if you break one, it’s as though you’ve broken them all.
I don’t know about God’s word not connecting with you, but I think you’re more sad and in pain because of the actions your brother has responded with. Something I find interesting is he has done two things here in my eyes.
- He treats even family as though they are potential patients
- He isn’t not conducting himself as an impartial party, but rather has his own beliefs utilized to promote a line of acceptable thought as long as it’s thinking among the parameters of his beliefs.
Eh, I could be wrong. You asked for a prayer though and that much I can do.
We ask that You provide Jeanet with a comfort in her life by blessing her with peace and calm in her heart and mind and send to her a much needed message towards what she has said to her brother in regards to his questionnaire. As long as we are honest, and kind within our answers, it is all that can be asked for. While people may not like what we think or what we say, they must respect they asked a question to receive an answer. Whether it was to condemn us or profit us means nothing as long as we are truthful in our response.
Please galvanize Jeanet with protection from those not of You, Father. Please open the eyes of her brother to see his position in this world and the difference between condemnation of another’s opinions and thoughts asked for, and the fact his sister is not his patient. Please guide Jeanet’s brother out of the prison he’s made for himself as we all have and into the open arms of Christ. Please place upon his heart and mind the question of should be be judged and condemned as he judges and condemns others? Perhaps that is the question to ask all of us?
Place upon Jeanet’s heart and mind the wisdom needed to know what to say and when to say it, yet also when silence is golden and when no answer is the only answer needed.
We pray this in Jesus’ name
@Cinchacha Dear Cindy, this is a whole new territory for me, so I am taking baby steps (hopefully guided by the HS in what to say or how to react. I think my brother (as are my other brothers and sisters) are indeed misguided and they see the absolutes of the Lord as what I called indiscriminate and intolerant. The HS must guide me as I am convinced that whatever I, in the flesh, will respond will not be heard or understood. I am not ashamed of who I am in the Lord, and somehow I shouln’t be surprised but I am surprised at how much it hurts (in the flesh) when your own family thinks you are the one misguided and think that they as the older and wiser ones have to straighten out little sister.
Ah well… a lesson to be learned I think, and I am grateful that the Lord is so gentle with me and teaches me trouble/tribulation in a very mild manner. I can’t imagine what people are going through who are confronted with much, much worse situations.
Bless you Cindy for praying for me and helping me sort this out.
@pbandj Hi Paula, yeah, it is -maybe surprisingly- hard when it is your own family. I always state very boldly that I don’t care how they think of me, but to my shame it really hurt me. Well, lesson to be learned I guess. I am grateful for all the prayers/advice you guys have to give. It really feels as if the Lord Himself is supporting me in this!
@Jon Hi Jon, as always it is an honour that the Lord uses you to pray for us and think with us in the situations we encounter in our daily lives. I can truthfully say that my answers to my brother were honest and from the heart. It can be debated if it was led more by the flesh or the HS, but at least it was honest and showing who I am and what I think. If he thinks that is indiscriminate or misguided, well… that’s his problem isn’t it? Too bad for me it hurts so much.
You are right about his treating this as if I were a patient. He always does that and I hated it when you were having a brother/sister conversation about your daily life and his reaction would be much like “and how does this make you feel?” Arghh…
I think he really tries to be impartial (as a therapist should), but I don’t think he can see/understand my point of view as he is not a true believer, and so he will treat my views as 'the poor little sister who is misguided by religion and we have to try to save her… ’ Well, I am already saved by the blood of Jesus Christ and that is all I need.
So, the last 3 questions I have to answer are all about my faith and how we ‘misguided’ Christians can believe that the vaxx is connected with Satan (as he concluded from a youtube video of a Dutch watchman and friend of mine). I will think on and pray about this as I won’t hand myself over to them so they can use it against me, but the answers must all give glory to God and nothing else.
Truth be told this all is a big step and an ever bigger lesson for me.
I’ll try not to kill him or myself in this process. lol. I’ll let you all know how it ends/continues.
Many Blessings to you and keep up the good work our Lord gives you to do! You’ve heard it many times before so don’t step outside your shoes (it is probably too cold for that anyway) but you are a true blessing to all of us here. I can’t wait to go up and thank you in person!
I am finding in situations like that It is rarely Jesus, our Father or The Holy Spirit leading the efforts.
If your like me I feel some compelling need to answer as if some authority is deposing me at a trial of public opinion or something. It’s like they have some right to my inner thoughts and deep beliefs while they hold in reserve their own secret motives. I feel put under a spot light to be examined while they stand in the darkness with no exposure that might reveal their own motives and hidden agendas.
And in the end they don’t repent or affirm any truth I have spoken to them. The one thing they consistently do is impose their analysis of my errors and communicate distain for my righteously held beliefs. I am beginning to think that even though our God may use it to the good, I am actually validating the enemies false authority and submitting to an easy method for him to discourage and degradate me. In my opinion in these instances a long time out should be used to give time for discernment and Fathers will to come to light. He may ask me to speak to the matter. But the scripture chronicles that Jesus rarely answers the questions that ambushers ask Him. Instead He speaks directly to their error and does not submit to the presuppositions that righteousness answers unrighteousness in judgement.
So it is written: “Do not cast your pearls before swine and do not give what is sacred to dogs.”
I guess that means whether we are related to them or not.
One things for sure. They all seem to have no problem turning and tearing us to pieces.
Jesus give us your wisdom for this time and lead us in when to speak or stay silent. Amen.
What a beautiful reply and prayer for Jeanet. Bless you!
Jeanet, I think satan is trying to make you think you are inadequate. You are not. You planted the seeds and God gives the increase. Do not be afraid to witness or share your testimony.
May the Lord pour out His blessings onyou for standing firm for Him!!!
Your worldviews are based upon Biblical truths, not society, science, psychology, etc. Much of what society believes and portrays rejects and contradicts God and the Bible. However, Romans 12:2 states, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Your brother will not understand this
Hi remember Jesus said that people would hate us because of Him. Paul also rejoiced in his persecution for the Lord’s sake. Do not be downcast. Pray for your brother that God will use all that you wrote to draw your brother to the Himself.