Requesting Prayer

My mom celebrated her 100th birthday in April and was doing fairly well. In May she fell backwards onto the tile floor, cut her head and did something to her back. The hospital missed the back issue. I had her admitted to hospice on Wednesday for pain management and End of Life care in her home.

My family is not in this. They are all out of State and don’t understand the situation. They are in denial. I am sole caregiver and am requesting prayer for me to get through this nightmare.

Does anyone on here have had similar experiences with family not pitching in. What did you do, who helped you when you needed a break? Would like to hear suggestions and personal experiences. TY

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I experienced this from May 2016 until December 2020.

My mother has dementia.

I live in Florida and my mother lived close by.

My sister who has the power of attorney, medical power of attorney and sole access to my mothers bank account lives in Tx.

From 2016 until 2020 I handled everything because my sister refused to get involved but also refused to give up the POA, etc.

Caring for my mother was very draining on me because her dementia caused her to have outbursts of abuse towards me, I did all her shopping etc and would have to try and get reimbursed for everything I bought, not always successfully.

Despite my attempts to get my sister involved she refused since “I was doing such a good job with Mom”.

In 2018 I was able to get her some social services and there was a lady who came by every week. That was a tremendous help.

What finally forced my sister to get involved was when my mother started going into the middle of the street in front of her house and would stop cars saying she was looking for her 9 year old son. (Me)

I spent so many hours dealing with the police because she went through a phase where she called 911 almost every day.

I tried getting DCF involved but when they would call my sister she would convince them that she was making plans to come and get her.

As I said the street incidents were the last straw and my sister finally came and picked her up and took her to Houston this past January.

If you try and do everything yourself it will wear you out, get as much help as you can.

I failed to mention that I have an older brother who lives in South Florida but he would not answer calls or texts.

God bless you!

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I’m so very sorry for both you and your mother. 100 is such a milestone which few ever reach then to accidentally hurt herself is such a shame. Then with the doctors missing her back actually made matters even worse turning it into a tragedy.
Family is only a word unless love and selfless care enter other’s lives. You said that your family is in denial…but denial is their rational choice to opt out. All I can say, is do your best alone for the time being…forgive those who lack compassion and solely depend on the Lord for in reality HE will give you the strength you need to be pleasing unto HIM. If you can do that with a glad heart, your heavenly reward will be great. Glorify GOD in all that you do for your mother so her last days will be filled with all that she needs…to feel truly loved!

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Thanks for your insights and relying. My sister who has POA is in AZ. I am legally the medical surrogate. Both my dad and mom stated that they wanted to die at home. My dad fell on the same tile floor and fractured his hip and leg, was admitted for surgery and never returned home. In rehab, he threw a fat embolism resulting in vascular dementia. He ended up in a skilled nursing home. I will never allow my mom to go through that, period! The abuse was horrible.

I contacted hospice social services today who gave me a list of home health agencies and contacted 2 of them. I found one that offered to come in “as needed” instead of as scheduled. I will hire them to help me out.

As noted by you, I am totally exhausted, cannot get a full night of rest (4 hours), I am fighting cancer and have other medical issues that cause endless pain.

My youngest sister called to say she is visiting next week and is insisting that she put mom in a care home even against her will. This is not what is needed. I dread her visit. I not even sure I can trust her to be with our mom.

If I cannot trust my youngest sister, is there anything that I can do to prevent her from intervening? I mentioned it to the hospice social worker in conversation. The topic didn’t go any farther, too much other stuff was being discussed.

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Thanks for your post. I agree with you that family is only a word without selfless love. Thanks for reminding me that I need to forgive them instead of “trying to beat a dead horse”.

Every evening, I read from the Word scripture to my mom. Just bible verses that I am fond of and she thanks me for that.

I know that what my mom is going through is a trial/tribulation as mentioned in Romans 5. It is for me too, one of faith and dependency on our Father & Lord Jesus. Please keep me in your thoughts & thank you.

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So sorry to learn this. Am I understanding correctly that after the hospice organizes a pain management regime, you will be looking after your mom at her home?
If so, do they have also a plan for respite for carers ? Or is there some other service that would cover that need?

In Australia we have a specific organization to help carers.

Be assured of my prayers :pray: for you during this difficult time.

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Late to the party, sorry, folks.

Ever Loving, Longsuffering and Most Merciful Heavenly Father

We play at the foot of Your throne O Lord the pleading of prayer for @clc363 regarding her mom and more precisely, the knowledge and wisdom in helping her mom.

You placed upon both of them a milestone that many do not visit: That being 100 years upon this earth. We don’t see that much anymore while long ago, it seemed to be the “new 30”. What many of us are beginning to experience however is dealing with torment and terrible nature of pain and brokenness. That feeling of defeat and surrender through an experience of hardship. Nothing is harder (for most) than seeing a parent age and more accurately, hurt.

Please bless @clc363 with the understanding, and the wisdom needed to handle this situation regarding care for their mom as they are the only one working this situation. You have given them heart for the situation, now bless them with know-how to get the job done. Knowledge and wisdom to know whom to contact and whom to trust. May the answers and solutions they require and search for be blessed with guidance by You O Lord and may the comprehension of those answers and solutions be instant when they are provided.

Please bless @clc363’s mom as well and smile upon her and continually watch over her in these times. May her daughter coming to visit be only able to do what is needed for @clc363 and not interfere with plans already working from their continual care.

Lastly Lord, please bless @clc363 with a healing of any infections, ailments, afflictions, illnesses, and diseases they have. Bless them with an abundance of sleep past 4 hours (You O Lord know how I know about that). Pluck from them the pain felt and grant them laser-focus on what needs to be done and when it needs to be focused upon without trouble of their own.

We pray this in Jesus’ name
Amen

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Yes, Life Path Hospice offers respite care for up to 5 days in one of their facilities. Mom is becoming a handful for me. She is no longer following simple commands. Her appetite is failing to none I am so sore in my shoulders and back from lifting her and repositioning her in bed.

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I was unable to do anything since my sister had the POA.

There was a hurricane a few years ago that was heading to Florida and I couldn’t get my Mom to come to our house. I called the police and told them I couldn’t leave her at her home with the hurricane coming, they told me I had no legal right to make her do anything since I was not her POA.

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Praying with you that the Lord will enable you to keep your mother out of nursing home.
The Lord bless you for wanting to honour your mother’s wishes at a great personal cost.

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Thanks to everyone on here who posted comments. My mom went into the arms of Jesus this morning around 8:15am. I am sad but know that she is reunited with our Redeemer and Savior.

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I am sorry for your loss, but God will make this a momentary loss, thank God! It was a blessing to be able to have had you by her side during this time and I am sorry yet I am happy to know her last breath on earth was her first in Heaven.

May the Lord comfort you in this time and may the calm and peace of the Lord wash over you. May your family be blessed with comfort during this time as well and may the Lord help them in ways they individually need during this time.

In Jesus’ name
Amen

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The loss of a parent is so hard. May God comfort you and strengthen you during this difficult time. Praying that the Lord will bring your family together to love and support one another with grace as you all go through this transition. Praying also that you will be refreshed and strengthened and that the Lord will place His healing hand upon you. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

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Praying for you, @clc363 in your sadness. She is resting in the Lord’s arms, and I pray that you and your family will be able to celebrate her life and her home-going with no strife. May He provide peace that passeth all understanding during this difficult time.

Cindy

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@clc363 :cherry_blossom:

…sheltered in the arms of God :pensive: :pray:t3:.

Blessings & Maranatha :revolving_hearts:

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Thank you for this post, I think about it often. :yellow_heart: :yellow_heart:

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I am so sorry for the great and present loss of your dear mom @clc363. :heartpulse:

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My family and I laid my mom to rest over the weekend. My cousin did the sermon-ette. It helps to have a pastor in the family. Thanks again for all your kind thoughts and prayers.

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