If you are felt lead to give your personal testamony, please do. I encourage you to do so. This is my personal testimony. As you read this I do not boast in myself, I boast in Jesus Christ.
I was in 7th grade and my parent made some new friends and invited us to church. I think it was a Christmas Eve service. It was a small church, the pastor’s name was Skip- Pastor Skip. A no nonsense type of guy. I can’t remember the sermon other than it was about hellfire and brimstone. I do remember him preaching if you don’t accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you are going to hell. That’s when I accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior. I didn’t want to go to hell. My first Bible was the Living Bible. I read it like crazy.
Before I continue I must tell you that I grew up in a highly dysfunctional and abusive household. There was a lot of physical, emotional and some sexual abuse. With that being said, my view of God the father and Jesus was skewed. My young faith was based off of fear. Since my earthly father was there but not really, he only worked and came home to sit in front of the TV. He paid attention to my stepsister while my stepmom paid attention to my stepbrother. I was pretty much out in the cold when it came to getting positive attention from my parents. The abuse from my stepmom became increasingly worse before she told my father to have me move back to my mom’s house in San Diego. That was 8th grade. 9th grade was a horrible year at my mom’s. I became very self aware, I realized that my nostrils moved when I breathed and thought I was the only one with this problem. I was horrified. Was I defective? What is wrong with me? I had many fights with my mom and stepdad. I was convinced there was something wrong with me. At the end of 9th grade, I moved back to Colorado for the 10th grade.
When I moved back, my dad and I got into argument. I went to my room crying. I don’t remember what at was about, but for some reason I asked Jesus to be my Lord and Savior again. At that time, Jesus became a religion to me, instead of a relationship. I had a NT in my back pocket every where I went. All I talked about was Jesus. But my fears only grew as time went on. At the end of 10th grade, I had moved 3 times and ended back living with my abusive stepmother for two months before I moved back to San Diego. When I moved back, my mom said there was this preacher living a couple of houses down and I should meet him. Little did I know, this pastor was emotionally abusive. He destroyed a lot of lives looking back. He was manipulative and controlling. That did not help me. I was looking for a father figure and sadly I looked up to him for a time until I realized I didn’t see the love of Christ in him.
From high school to National Guard training to a year at a christian college, my faith wavered. I was in and out of church until I joined the army and I simply walked away from Jesus, backslide you can say. I stopped reading my Bible and going to church. Overseas I spend all my money on ‘street ladies.’ When I got out of the army I attended a private college. I started to go back to church. I attended church for a couple of years, got involved with multi-media and then with the church leadership split I essentially left the church, I felt lost and hurt in all the change, so I walked away from church.
I took a job as a long haul truck driver. One day I heard on the news that Iran was saber rattling against Israel. That got my attention. Something told me this was Bible prophecy. I was convicted. I realized that I wasn’t right with the Lord and I asked to Lord to take me back and He did. At one of the hubs were a safety manager who listened to Chuck Missler and he was talking about his teachings to someone on the phone when I walked in. I told him I came back to Christ and I was interested in what he was talking about. He gave me info on Khouse. I learned so much while listening to Missler. Though I was no longer backslide, something was not right yet still.
A couple years ago, the Lord started to remind me of His love and grace. That was ‘the something that wasn’t right.’ Through various trials (having a stroke and losing sight in one eye and other circumstances) Jesus slowly started to reveal Himself to me. It was so hard to do. See I knew him, but really didn’t KNOW Him.
Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice. Ps 51:8 One of my favorite verses. A shepard when they have a wayward lamb would break it’s leg bone and would have the lamb rest on his shoulders until it mended. From that point on when the lamb is healed, the lamb will never leave the side of the shepherd. The Lord always finishes what He has started in you and I. Praise be to the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.