The Story of a Mouse ~ My story ~ Tissue box warning

O Lord, open my lips,
That my mouth may declare Your praise.

Psalm 51:15

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All other topics posted will be moved or deleted.

Hi everyone;
My name is Marianne and I’m a recovering alcoholic/addict who loves Jesus more than ever before.

Before I begin, go get your favorite beverage, a box of tissues or a roll of tp. Just a heads up. You’re gonna need it. I do as I write this.

I’m not even suppose to be here. No I mean it. I was suppose to die in a car accident 3 months before I was born. Doctor told my Mama to give up because she was gonna lose me. You never told Mama no unless you wanted a backhand. lol
As a passenger, I have survived more than 25 vehicle incident encounters, most drunk a few sober, but none high.

I gave my life to Jesus back in 1970 and have always “assumed” that my relationship with Him was solid & secure & I was all golden for Heaven. Never take your spiritual life forgranted.

In 1983 I got married to a guy I thought I would be with for the rest of my life, but God had other plans. In June 1983 We had confirmation that I was with child for the first time. we did THREE home pregnancy tests BEFORE I ever went to the doctor. Then the doctor confirmed it and I announced to my then husband, “We’re having a boy & his name is BobbyRay.” That was the end of it. We never talked about it after that. He just gave me a hug and said, “Whatever you say my beautiful mommy to be.” In June went to the bar to tell our “friends” that I was going to have a baby and that meant no more spiked drinks for me. I was drinking tomato juice & Shirley Temple’s. At least until someone decided it was a great idea to spike my drink. I got drunk without planning it. When I realized what had happened I got livid and started a bar fight because I was mad that someone had been trying to hurt my unborn son. I started a brawl fight that paled to some of the biker fights I’ve been around. We totally trashed the Westminister Hotel in Winnipeg. I had taken on one of the biggest meansest & sorry to say, uglies bikers I could find. He had enough of it & just tossed me aside. as he did I bounced off the wall onto a pool table & then onto the floor. Baby & I were still fine at this point BUT husband was a different story. He went… what we use to call “going Indian on your —”

(I’m oldschool & don’t know the politically correct way to say some of these things. I’m sorry. I do not say these things to offend. If there is a more better way to say these things that would be wonderful to know.)
The big guy he was fighting got tossed and he followed my EXACT path of least resistance. when husband saw that biker had landed on me & that I was crying well…you husband’s out there you have an idea what happened next. it’s that Daddy Bear syndrome that comes out. “Get off my wife!!” was all I heard. I passed out for a second & then went to the ladies room & I have no idea how I did that. Adrenaline is my guess. I knew by now that my son was gone. I walked to the hospital - I’m a Wiebe after all. “Built like tractor, strong like bull”, yeah bull! More like Stubborn like mule!

When I hurt in anyway, emotionally or physically - I’m a VERY independent person and tend to push away any help. “Leave me alone. Don’t touch me.” thing. This is not always a good thing, especially when you just lost a baby & your emotions are off the charts. For years I felt like I had murdered my own son and that I had no right to live, let alone have God’s forgiveness or mercy. I drank hard & partied harder. I was an exotic dancer bringing 4K a month in those days (1983-1990), not that I have anything now to show for that time except lots of tears. And since the doctors had told me I’d never have kids & I knew he wanted them Somehow it all got divorced and finished. To this day those details are very drunk-fussy.

Then one day in 1990 a friend and her husband set me up with my third husband - we’ll get back to #2 later.
Husband #3 (We’ll call him Tanker); He was a satanist and a practicing warlock & I was completely clueless as to what any of that meant. SO we got high together, he got me off the stage and into small town Saskatchewan called Carrot River. I meant his family who had by now all come to know Jesus and serve HIM very diligently. I watched the Jesus movie and gave my life back to Christ. When I was asked why all I could say was, “It just made sense. besides you can’t run from the Truth forever, can you?” That was 1991. Tanker & I got married a few months later, after he came to Christ and destroyed ALL his satanic stuff that we had brought from up north in Manitoba. We went to Saskatoon & connected with some very incredible Christian Bikers, became members of ICBA (International Christian Bikers Association) we even had patches and everything. Kinda felt like a real “outlaw biker” at that point LOL Outlaws for Jesus with "Riding for the SON"Stickers on the Harley and everything. lol I did 2 years of upgrading to get my 12 & then 3 years of Bible school. It was a prayer request from when I was between 14-16. God is faithful & HE DOES answer prayer, sometimes you just gotta be patient for the answers.

Life had been going along pretty good for a while, I finished Bible school & we bought a house in the city & joined the biker street church we helped create. But how quickly pride and envy raise their ugly heads. Soon the church closed after only 2 years. Jezebel crept in unnoticed because we had our guard down and our armor OFF. Of course we didn’t know that at the time. Hindsight is all 20/20 - (wow that kinda takes on a whole new meaning to that phrase doesn’t it?)

But I had known that something was off for several years. Tanker’s affection & attention had tanked. He was a different person after we bought that house. It suddenly became all about the mortgage and the bills and then the weekend’s at his “assistant’s home to work on her computer” - don’t blame him, we are all weak in at least one area of our lives. I remember reading somewhere in the Bible this past year that when the Jezebel spirit is let into the church by even 1 door, it will not only take out the church but will destroy every relationship within that church. And you know what? It did! Every single relationship in that church ended in one way or another within 1 year. I’m very serious. After the church closed, our chapter of ICBA started to fall apart, families were getting divorced and then some people suddenly got sick and died. It happened so fast. That’s part of why I know how close we are to the end. I can see all the signs, plus a few I’m not allowed to talk about just yet. Lord will soon though.

I never did tell Tanker that I was never going to have children. We had even talked invetro, now I’m grateful we didn’t. We tried to adopt but that fell through because well… turns out Mouse is too much like a child herself wot be a parent. When you’re trying to bond with a child you have become like a child. Otherwise the child will only ever see you as authoritarian, not friend. The key when adopting kids is to meet them where THEY are not, NOT where YOU want them to be. How do I know? I are one. I am a child of adoption & not just in a Heavenly sense either. I was adopted at age 13 by my Daddy! And because of that I could be 1002 and still call that man my Daddy! Why? I felt like he saved our family from a life of tyranny and harsh abuse. My Daddy is kinda sort kinda like a miniature version of what I perceive from the Word that Jesus will be like. Quiet, kind, gentle, patient, contemplative prior to articulation, passionate, zealous for His own. That’s my Jesus. :smiley:

He did n’t just show up one day and announce he was our Dad now. He wooed us, … he taught us. he even had to discipline us a few times. One time we had this little chat, “Daddy? Why do you spank me if it hurts you so much?” “So that you’ll learn not to do that anymore because it’s not good for you and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.” It’s amazing how fast I started to obey them after that chat. Oh sure I still fought with my baby Sis, but hey… like what do you want me to say here? We’re siblings & if Jacob & Esau were fighting inside the womb, why do we expect it different on the outside? just saying. lol Kids gonna fight. You that brings me to thought. You know how whenever we have heard about the Middle East being in a state of unrest that we kinda got to the point of saying, “What else is new, those brother’s will be fighting til Jesus comes.” We have the internet now and we have AI alive and well orchestrating our algorithms - oh wait that’s for another time. Today this post, my Testimony. First time I’ve actually written it out since Bible school missions trip prep. 1998.
Okay where was I , Right. Adoption. Well MJ was a very beautiful 2 year old girl with mild down syndrome and needed some stability in her life. We thought we could provide that since I was going to fulfill my childhood dream of being a housewife and a mother. I was going to stay home and take care of things and he was going to provide for us. Perfectly Biblical, perfectly wonderful BUT “Many are the plans of a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’S will which will prevail.” (someone knows that address.) But when everything fell through… we BOTH broke. He blamed me. I blamed the foster parents, it was awful. and very wrong and YET very right all at the same time. Oh we moved to the city, made some friends with our neighbors, found out I was deathly allergic to vaccinations. That was when my walk-in clinic doctor told me that I was only to take a shot again if I wanted to die. He had to crash-cart me back. This was one of those things I didn’t bat an eyelash about because I despise needles at the best of times so one less thing I had to do. Now it’s coming down to that choice in our lives isn’t it? Our life for theirs?

I told Tanker about 1 baby we lost in the early 90’s before Bible school, but not the other 5. I mean really, why break the man’s heart repeatedly, just why? But 2020 changed all sorts of things didn’t it? It started with my sister and I sitting in a hospital room wondering if our Mama was ever gonna walk out again, or not. January 12, 2020 the Lord took Mama home! I’m sad and grateful all at the same time. See we had to make that tough choice no one should have to make. We don’t talk about it, but we all feel the same way. We all feel like we killed her ourselves. We just didn’t want her to hurt no more, you know. I mean you can only handle watching someone hurting for so long. When the doctors can’t fix the problem and your own faith is in the outhouse and the thought of praying for a miracle not even registering, what do you do?

I thought I could handle anything after I found my roommate’s sister after she completed suicide, but nothing…absolutely NOTHING prepares you for the loss of the glue that holds your family together. When Mama is gone nothing makes sense anymore. It’s like crusty old glue on an old book. It’s fragile and just disintegrates.

I know many of you have been reading my posts over the past few months and maybe even year now. You know my faith is strong. My flesh is very weak. My heart breaks more often and much more easily now. See Mama was buried on January 21, 2020. January 22, 2020 COVID hit! I’m not okay.
You know how Paul & them say that “to live is Christ & to die is gain”? Well, for me right now living is like a death. I feel like I’m going through my own personal hell on Earth. I’ve made my peace with God. “Though He slay me, yet will I serve HIM”
In the midst of all this brokenness somewhere God found the soft spot in my heart where He could talk to me & I would actually be able to hear Him, I mean really hear HIM for the first time since I was a little girl. You know, there’s stories in my family about how I use to throw hissy fits whenever someone wanted to leave and it wasn’t safe for them to do so? Cool eh. That was until it freaked out the ladies at the church my very old-school Mennonites took me. Then they insisted on some kinds of weird demon possession thing - it’s still not something I understand. I guess maybe they forgot that God used Miriam & Deborah & Ba’alam’s donkey, I don’t know. All I know is that after Mama went to be with Jesus & my sister HS, it appears to have returned. Oh don’t kid yourself, I will never profess myself a prophet. I don’t want the RESPONSIBILITY or the ACCOUNTABILITY. Nope, not me. No way Hosea. I ain’t doing it…but then there’s that donkey…right? sigh
SO I write stuff down now and sometime IF after much prayer and fasting I feel led to share, I do. But no sooner.
What’s really weird is some of the stuff that is being revealed to me is happening like in a 3-6 month window. Not always 100% exact, but mighty close. Even my Dad has noticed it. We’ll be talking about something and then he’ll say something like “Didn’t you tell me about this — long ago?” and that will take over the call. But there’s good in all this.

I still belong to Jesus, even more now that ever before. I’m not scared anymore, Nervous? You bet your boots I am! If God is taking me down the path I think HE is , it’s gonna get mighty lonely and mighty intense for me over the next little while & it may even cost me my life. But Jesus is worth that price, isn’t HE? He paid it for me, why can’t I return the favor? My life may not have been much of a witness for Jesus, but my death can be. Now, I’m not gonna go looking for it, so don’t go all silly on me now. To live is to show Christ, even though my heart dies daily. To die is to gain the joy of being in Glory with our Lord. To me it’s a win - win situation. They can lock me up in 6x6 box and I’ll never be alone again.
How can I say this? If we’re going to live for the One Who laid down His life for us, shouldn’t we also be willing to lay down our lives for HIM if that is required of us?

Now, you may be saying Marianne, I got kids or a family or whatever, I gotta care for them don’t I? Yep, you have to be a good steward of all that God has made you steward of. But, do they know Jesus? Do they accept and understand that you may all need to lay your lives down for the Lord even as our forefathers did? Look, I know harpazo is a real thing and that’s gonna happen, but guys we gotta be real honest with ourselves about what the Word says. What did John say? “He will be given power and authority over the saints to pursue them and overtake them” (Mouse paraphrase). Even Jesus said that some of us would go to prison or even be killed for our faith in Him during these times. We need to be awake to that sobering fact. This is no time to put our heads in the sand and pretend everything is going to go back to the way it once was. This is almost over for us though. Just hang in there. When you hanging off the side of Ghost Mountain Alberta by a tree root and you scream “GOD HELP ME” God answers. One more time when I was destined for death. (2005)

I’m sorry you guys, I’m trying to say something and it’s all coming out haywire. You wanna pray for me personally about something, pray I can remember how to talk to people again. lol

Guys, this is the time of cleansing of the church. The church is being sifted or whinnoed, if you will. If you’re really real with yourself and Jesus, you’ll get through this. But it means doing really hard work in a VERY short window of time. We are almost there. I feel it inside. My spirit has been more …alive… as we get closer. You know what I’m talking about. I know you do.

I’ll come back another time and add to this testimony. There’s so much to share & so little time to do it.

If I had to sum up my life, I think I’d have to use my sister’s idea for a title for my life story… And lived to tell about it.

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Thank you for sharing! What a dramatic and powerful testimony! I love how the
Lord brought you back and the learnings you had.
Dear sister I pray you will share with us when it is time.I feel time is very short too.
Thank you for your encouragement to stay in Christ. We all need that.
I am sorry for this challenging time now! I will pray you will be content in all things; that you can do all things with Christ who strengthens you dear sister.

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Hi Marianne
Thank you for your story. I wonder if we will get to hear all our life stories and testimonies for all eternity? Its amazing how the Lord has drawn each one to Himself despite our weaknesses.
Blessings…
Samantha

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Thank you for sharing your story in this way, you are so much stronger than you think “mouse”!

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Most mice are. :wink: Think about how a mouse lives and behaves. It’s pretty close to my life. :smiley: :smiley:

I’m going to work on it more over the coming days.
It’s proving to be more spiritually challenging that I expected. Now that I know what to expect I can prepare better for the next entry.

I guess ‘someone’ doesn’t want me to share this victory story.
God Bless <3

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As I was praying this morning I asked the Lord, “What should I do today Lord?” All I heard in response was, “Share your Riding With Bikers story with them on the forum. It will cheer many hearts & make others laugh. Bring them joy.”

So, with that in mind let me tell you about some of the most incredible days of my life to this point.

I believe the years were between 1991 to about 2004/2005.
I was married to Tanker during these years. (See first post for who Tanker is or wait and you’ll understand. lol ) Actually let me put this into context first.

Back up to about 1979ish, I was with my birth-father who happened to be a longtime long-hauler in the trucking industry, as a result we didn’t see him much and although my Dad is a great guy I never really did wrap my mind around what dads & fathers roles were. Anyway, 16ish at this time and had already lived through a floor that took out our family home (Spring 1979.) and a tornado touch down across the hiway from our home this same year. Father and I were negotiating our way through Chicago and I had the map in my lap. Apparently I make a pretty good navigator. lol :slight_smile: It was night and I heard what I took for thunder & was startled. Father laughed and I looked out the window to see what that sound was. My first real outlaw biker encounter! Full black leathers on a black hawg and loud pipes. No skid lid err helmet. I was 16 and in LOVE! I told father right there, “When I grow up I wanna be a biker.” Well, his face fell and then he let out a nerveous laugh. He knew I had a way of getting myself into things I really should stay away from BUT GOD had other ideas than that of father. lol Now that context is given, let’s get on with the story and yes, I will do my best to stick to the highlights; details make things very wordy and that can drive some people around the bend, but ya gotta remember 1 - I are woman & 2 women use many more words then men by I think it’s something hideous like 500,000 words for women and only about 10,000 for men.

Picture if you will a pack of motorcycles (bikes) of say 30-40 individuals, some 2 up & some solo. {(Oh yeah hang on I gotta translate this) 2 up is 2 people on the bike. Solo is just that solo. 1 rider male or female.} They all have some form of crest (Patch) on their jackets, vests, bikes, attire etc and look like a bunch of thugs. lol

We did Bible runs where we raised money for Bibles to give away to new believers. We did “show & shines” to reach the lost and the ‘seemingly unreachable’. We did “Riding for the Son” events where we did outreach and the best of all was the retreats. Oh those were my personal favorite. Let me tell you about 1 time we had a retreat in Saskatchewan Canada I think it was around 2000-2001, I think. I have an issue with my own timelines. LOL
Okay so we got nice Canadian hiways that are about as smooth as a rock-faced cliff in many places. infrastructure repair is not a priority here. But we all enjoyed the ride, even Iceman, Then again he always enjoyed any day that he could ride. We all stopped for coffee in Lloydminister, Saskatchewan for a coffee, gas & a quick check to make sure we hadn’t lost anyone. I think on this trip Stan & Doris were having issues with their bikes. Had to stop every several hundred miles to tighten bolts after getting is back from the shop after one of them got a new paint job or something. I don’t remember for sure at this moment. We went back and found the pair and brought them to us, we all got together and helped with whatever was needed. Bike repairs were always done on the fly and it was not unusual to see a truck of some sort at the end of the pack. We called it “taking up the rear.” It was usually my job to do that unless someone else was unable to ride, then they would take the truck & I would get to ride the trip.
We got to this place where we were to turn in to go to the camping/retreat area but we had one issue. Some of the riders were unseasoned. Just like with cars, bikers have to be able to ride in anything, that includes SAND! DD didn’t handle sand well & we had a few bike that went sideways, quite literally. It took about 6 big guys to get DD’s HD out of the sand, they had to “empty his pockets” first. (Empty his gear off the bike.) By the time the boys got back to camp we had everything set up for food and refreshments, Chucky was already getting ready for service along with we’ll call him Bear. They were in charge of the service. Suddenly Tanker comes over and says to me, “Freedom, we need the guitars & music supplies in the chapel, are you okay with the camp setup?” I was so easy going in those days everything was met with agreement, as long as it wasn’t sinful I was in. So he took my tambourines and his 12 string Ovation and off they headed to the chapel to prepare. I set up camp for us in such a way as our tent door faced away from camp because I was still incredibly modest despite the past I had lived to that point.

Bikers have a very strange sense of humor that some would find offensive, however when things are understood in context it’s funny. Keep that in mind while we go on with this wonderful bless God-filled, Holy Ghost controlled weekend.

The guys got everything ready with the singers and the prayer team was already walking around the entire camp area and around each tent and the buildings that were provided for chapel services and food serving, they even prayed over the outhouses. Where little children are much prayer is necessary for their protection. Once all was completed we all met in the chapel to dedicate everything and everyone and every moment to God. As this was being done the music started with Tanker’s guitar and didn’t stop for hours. I think the thing that stuck out the most was the song “I just wanna be a sheep”.

Close your eyes for a second and picture this brood of misfits and outcasts all with their hands in the air, real tears streaming down their faces and the Holy Ghost touching each one. The things God did that weekend I will never know fully, but many people were healed of emotional and mental turmoil, some even were physically healed. When you see this kind of thing happen and then suddenly a “guy who got lost and headed toward the singing” came in and gave his life to Jesus. He stayed the entire weekend too.

Picture these people with their long hair and unshaven faces (men) and their leathers on all worshiping God and giving Him glory. Then you hear this little child grab their mama’s pantleg say, “Mama, let’s do I wanna be a sheep.” So the Mama with the guitar looks down lovingly, nod to Tanker & it all starts. I really have no idea how many of us there were there that weekend but at least 50 of us in the chapel. Now we’re not just singing like a bunch of church monks, we’re redeemed bikers who have been saved from the pit of hell. I’m talking about ex-Hells Angels & ex-Las Brovos and ex-Spartans and all doing the actions with the little children leading the adults in the actions. lol ROFL
Come on now. You know you want to laugh. “Laughter doeth the soul good like a medicine.”

So the next time you see a biker, don’t be afraid. They need or have Jesus too. If they don’t Have Jesus, then they NEED JESUS.

“Marianne I could never witness to a biker.” Yeah that’s what I thought too in the beginning. You just gotta remember a few things about these guys. 1) Most, not all, outlaw bikers are MK’s (Missionary’s kids), PK’s (Preacher’s kids) or they have been so severely abused at home that they just walked away in search of real love. 2) They won’t bother you if you don’t bother them. 3) Bikers need Jesus just as much as the guy in the ivory tower or the gutter does. 4) this is my favorite. They are really just a bunch of over-grown teddy-bears who just need to be loved on with Jesus’s love. So the next time you see a bike ask yourself this, what does the logo on their bike stand for? Is it a “Riding for the Son” sticker, “Jesus is Lord” paint job, or is it an outlaw symbol. We can’t forget about the seemingly unreachable, they are the very one Jesus wants. :smiley:

Now I’m all of 5 foot nothing and maybe 140 pounds soaking wet but I will go toe to toe with one of those big guys faster than I’ll sit down with a church member and discuss doctrinal differences that don’t really matter once your heart is right with Jesus. Do you know why? Because debates over doctrine can lead us astray and straight to hell. How do I know? I watched it happen to several people and churches. Do people have Jesus or don’t they? That is my only question.

At the time that I was riding with these bikers my life was blessed. Tithe was a MUST for our home. I always noticed when we missed a tithe, the budget always fell apart. Every single time without fail. We needed bike parts one time & Tanker wanted to take money from the tithe to pay for it. I put my foot down and said no. I worked the extra hours given to me at work & paid for the parts out of that, after I had tithed of the additional income. Even now, with my tiny pittance the gov. gives me I insist on tithing. I don’t tithe I tie God’s hands to bless me. It’s just smart economics. [Hmmm, Maybe that’s what is really wrong with this world’s economy; maybe if the globalists started to tithe their wealth and we all did too, just maybe God would honor that tithe too and bless the world again. I’m not saying God is in it for our money, i’m just thinking out loud.]

That was just one of many weekends we had. I remember when Tanker & I hit our 10 year anniversary the bikers put on a celebration for us because we planned to renew our vows. I wore my wedding gown for the first time, we got JP (Justice of the Peace) married the first time, it was amazing. Biker wedding for a renewal of vows. He was in full leathers… those were the days when my heart sang to the Lord without fear of being incarcerated. You know, that was over 20 years ago. Now I struggle to talk to the other person in the elevator. What changed? That’s a real good question.

Pastor JD is always saying to us that “now is the time to get people to Jesus and Jesus to people” and he is very correct. I’d say that he is more correct on this then you will ever realize or know. We honestly don’t have that much time left. We could be gone before I finish writing this or we could be here another 50 years, we honestly do not know. However, we can tell the seasons of life and discern where we are at in the grand scheme of things.

Here’s one other thing to consider; Yes, a biker or any street person for that matter, could easy kill you by talking Jesus with them, but so can the gov. put you in prison or kill you just for believing in Jesus. We know it’s coming and it’s a matter of time. How would you rather die, if you had the choice? Would you rather die in a cell because the gov. stuck you there or would you rather die bringing someone unsaved to Jesus. See, once people hear about Jesus, and weather they accept Him on the spot or not is not up to us. We planted the seeds, the rest is up to God. We did our part by telling them. The Holy Ghost is the one who draws us nearer to God and to the confession of Christ.

I implore you to take heed of the things Pastor JD is teaching us. He speaks truth.

Be blessed and have a great day.

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Thank you Marianne, (sorry if spelled wrong phone won’t allow me to c now), what an encouragement of how the Holy Spirit is such a blessing to us! When we are together worshipping Him like that it is so strong and powerful. Nothing is better than being with a remnant of God loving God fearing God praising people. Thank you for drawing us to bikers in f we encounter any! And to sharing. Let us encourage one another to do so.
I am heading in to a weekend of hockey for my daughter now - honestly the last place I want to be as I would be out witnessing to strangers with the remnant today otherwise. Please pray I will share with these folks today and this weekend. May God use me.
Come Lord quickly please!

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“Many are the plans of a man’s heart but it is the Lord’s will which will prevail.” Somewhere in Proverbs, I think. :wink:

Sometimes I think HE reroutes our plans because we are needed more elsewhere.

Maybe the person you reach this weekend will be the last one, or perhaps the first of many?

“Be strong and courageous for the Lord thy God is with thee.” It is written somewhere in Joshua.

Have a blessed weekend. I miss in person hockey games, especially when it’s little leagues.

Funny thing happened just now. I got one of those scammer texts and decided to ignore, then I felt this tug in my heart. "Maybe this is a great opportunity to witness to them. So I did. Hey, why not right, maybe they’ll get saved too.

One thing I learned during Biker ministry was this, “Be ready to preach, pray or die on a moment’s notice, or less.” Never forgot that for some reason.

Amen! I have done that here and there with random texts and calls :blush: Why not…
thank you for the lessons from the biker ministry!

Well it was my first hockey weekend in awhile. I did have the opportunity to witness to a woman I was with most of the weekend and to share about Jesus’ soon return with a small group. And, I praised the Lord for what peace he gave me over the girls’ safety, and boy do I see angels move potential collisions! Many times I praise the Lord right out loud when that happens. Yes I am known a little bit as the Jesus Freak and I gladly put that on my resume.:slight_smile: All the glory to God! Yes, if I let Him use me wherever I am I am most happy. Sometimes it takes me a bit to push through and be used. I find its easier with strangers. It is getting easier with friends and people I see often bc time is late. Either I believe in going to one of two places or I don’t!
Please pray for this woman to be saved; for her heart to be convicted of her need for Jesus!
Blessings!

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Hey folks I’m having some serious issues here. I am not able to see ANY of the notifications i’m getting so I don’t even know if you are liking. I get some of the email messages, but nothing else. When I try to load the notifications all I get is swirly thingy. I think I might be being censored on my end. It wouldn’t shock me at all.

Also, I know pastor JD said on Sunday, something about a religious exemption. I’d like to get one. I’m pretty sure here in Canada we’ll requite a wet signature one.

I tried to check who could be exempt here in Canada and I can’t find anything except for travelers. If you can help me great, please PM me, I seem to get those. I truly appreciate everyones help, work, efforts, prayers, etc.

Personal prayer request that is not for me; Please pray for the missionaries out there who are putting their lives on the line very literally so that others may come to know Christ. Thanks

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Any time :smiley:

Someone a long time ago told me that if we are shy about Jesus that HE would have to be “shy” about us. I think it was someone’s paraphrase so that we could understand what was being said about our silence being a form of denial of Christ. That’s how we took it anyway.

I’m grateful you were able to witness to the lady you were with. That’s a “God Thing”. :smiley:

"For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of him when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels.” Mark 8:38

“But whoever denies Me before men, I will also deny him before My Father who is in heaven”. Matthew 10:33

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I remember this one time; some of the people were wondering about this whole tithing thing and wasn’t that just for the Jews of their day to build the temple etc etc. Then we heard the testimony of a booze-hound, a crack addict and an old-school biker. Each one had a different story but the message was the same; they were specifically talking about our money.

One person asked the question that no one really dared to ask but was on everyone’s mind. “Okay you got us to know this Jesus dude, but now you want our money too? What is this religious thing, just another money scam?” And the discussion began and lasted 3 days & 2 nights before we all understood exactly what was being said.

Where to start when they all had the same basic message but with different illustrations? I know, I’ll use one of my own.

When I was drinking I use to spend every dime I had serving and worshiping my god of “Jack Daniels”. When I was dancing (exotic/stripper/peeler/whatever term you use where you’re at.), I would work 6 days a week from 10:30AM to 3:00AM and went from 1983-1990. That’s not only a long dancer’s career, it is also a very long drinking career. During those days I would earn around $4,000 every month but typically only ever saw about $500 a month out of it. Why? I drank! The $500 a month paid ALL my bills and then some, so I didn’t really care. Besides I was in my 20’s and 30’s and thought, “Yeah I’ll get back to Jesus in my old age, like Grandma is & like Mama did.” Little did I know the hell either of them had gone through in their lives. I never really knew my Mama’s story and all I knew about Grandma was she was first generation Canadian and that her parents were from “The Old Country” .

Well I spent pretty much every dime I could find to support my cigarettes, whiskey and “wild ways”. So if we do the math:
$4,000 income
$500 bills and basics
$3,500 is what I spent each month on booze & smokes.

Now I can hear some of you GASPING! It’s okay, I understand. I gasp too. Now, consider this; What if I would have turned to Christ for help after the loss of my son rather than the bottle and had still been able to earn that kind of income?
That was the point the Biker, Addict and alcoholic were trying to make. With that $3,500 a month I was spending on booze and smokes I could have really advanced the kingdom of God!!

SO for those of you who are newly saved and wondering about the money that you give to the church; if the church it true it will use their money to bless Israel, help the needy (at home and abroad), my $3,500 a month sure would have changed a lot had I known to give it to the LORD think of what that could do for the kingdom of GOD today!! Seriously, try to wrap your own mind around what God could do with that kind of tithe every month? Do you have any idea just how much God would bless YOU for your sacrifice of finances to the LORD? Well I’m gonna tell you what happened & continues to happen.

Shortly after Tanker and I were married his Mama reminded us about tithing, even after we moved to the City, how important is was and that GOD could do more with our 10% then we could with our 100%. Think about this for a second. God only wants 1/10 of our money leaving us 90% to do with as we please and see fit and need to.
One day Tanker came to me with an unpaid bill and asked how we missed it. I checked the budget and it was a bill that had been in his list to pay (we split the bills in half, even the mortgage.) so I had him go through his money to make sure he too had given to GOD in an effort to explain this issue. Sure enough he had forgotten not only to pay the bill, but also to tithe his portion as agreed during our wedding. Yep I made sure our finances were part of the deal. :wink: lol

It was a Tuesday, I think when we discovered this issue. He went to the bank right away, paid the bill in full and then came home and handed me his tithe money. I took it to our treasurer immediately and everything went back to how it was suppose to be, blessed! I had noticed it, which is why I asked him about it.

When we (I) tithe, we never had any lack. Bills were always paid in full, we had more than enough gas & food and everything. We were even able to afford a few luxuries. I learned very valuable lessons from my marriage with Tanker.

Mouse Lessons:

  1. Always put GOD first

  2. Never forget to tithe - This is an issue for me right now because my bank is being dumb. lol

  3. When the man says “NO” and it’s a God thing you’re talking about, take it to GOD immediately and ask for HIS advice. Sometimes it’s the husband’s heart that changes, sometimes yours and sometime GOD makes the shift.

  4. Even if all you have is crackers, butter, coffee, water and cat food you are still more wealthy than people in other nations who have less. Be grateful for what you have.

  5. Without Jesus I can’t do a thing, with Jesus I’m unstoppable!

  6. Sometimes, sometimes you have to walk away from something that was once good when it becomes corrupted by sin.

You all have a great day out there. Remember that whomever you come in contact with needs Jesus in one way or another, just like you do. We all need Jesus. His love in our lives. His peace which surpasses all understanding. His mercies so that we can hear His voice even over the loud roar of this agenda filled world. We all need Jesus redemption because every single person on the planet is a sinner in one way or another and without Jesus forgiveness nothing matters or works to bring GOD glory.

For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, but the gift of God is eternal life through His one and ONLY Son, Jesus Christ.

Shalom <3

Thank you dear Marianne! I love your learnings. I agree with the tithing- its amazing!
May God bless your day😍

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I really wish my bank would co-operate with me better. Looks like I’m going to have to send checks every month. Oh well, God knows what’s going on and that I am trying to be obedient. :wink:
With the Lord’s help I will get this sorted out too yet. :smiley:

I was thinking that I should maybe, before asking for prayer on a thing that it would be prudent to give context first. This is very difficult for me to do this part because it can get a bit … long in the tooth, as it were. I’ve tried condensing it but there are important details that are prudent to prayer that are omitted when I attempt to condense further. I apologize in advance for the length.

I’m currently in a very odd marriage that even I don’t fully understand and really need some help and prayer for direction on what to do next.

My husband has asked me to do something that doesn’t sit well with me. Although he is only asking me to look into it, I’m still very uncomfortable with the line of thinking behind it. Almost as if there is a lack of faith in God’s ability to provide.

My husband and I met in 2004 and were friends and even did Bible studies together with another male who was older. And at the time I saw no problem with it. As the intensity of my (Tanker) marriage was reaching hights I was unable to deal with on my own I started talking to these men about what I should do, as a wife. The older male started asking me questions about the amount of time Tanker was spending with me and how often he took me out etc. etc. You know, the kind of questions that make you really start to rethink things in life. Well, I couldn’t meet his questioning and at one point left Tanker and went to a shelter for women. While I was there A & J came to visit about once every 2-3 days, just to check on me and to inform me of anything I needed to know. And that was how it ended with Tanker and I. I did not return even to pick up clothes or pets I’d left behind. You can’t bring pets to a shelter. They don’t have the resources or space to accommodate that kind of thing.

After I had been there about a month and could think for myself again. Honestly, I don’t know how much praying I did during that month because all I could think of was, “I can’t believe he used a hammer on my forehead!” (2005)
A asked me what I needed in order to leave the place and I told him what the requirements were and he handed me the keys to his Scamper Trailer. This trailer is still around but one of the walls came off in the last windstorm out on the acreage where A lives.
A few points:

  1. The acreage is my inheritance from my parents. I had it put in A’s name because, at the time, I wanted it just for him as I really dislike living in the bush. On a farm in the country, yes. Bush? Not so much. I detest woodticks! lol :slight_smile:

  2. A has saved my life at least 3 times between 2004-2006. Very literally.

    1. First time was a self-harm cutting incident. I honestly didn’t realize that’s what I was doing. I was totally out of my mind at the time and when J found me I was already passed out.
    1. Second time: In an effort to please Tanker I was attempting to clean parts of his bike. I think this time was the wheel. Something heavy had landed on it and I was concerned I had somehow bent the wheel assembly. Since we clean bike parts with gasoline, that’s what I used. Picture it: White foot-washing basin 1/4 full of gasoline on the floor in a “workshop” room in the basement of the house. Sounds safe as long as you open a window, right? WRONG! If you have propane or any form of natural gas heating or water heater systems in that area, you might want to take that project outside. How do I know? Basic science class which I had temporarily forgotten about. All I heard was WHOOSH! and huge wall of fire in front of me. Next thing I know A is telling me to simply step through the fire. I was completely paralyzed by shock more than by fear. Suddenly I feel this hand on my arm and I get pulled through this wall of fire into safety.
    1. Out in beautiful Alberta Mountains of Canada; Ghost Mountain, what a lovely place and such beautiful views, so close to God you could feel like you were able to touch Heaven itself. Mmmmmm Memories. A & I had gone for a long walk and enjoying the view when suddenly I totally lost my footing and along with the rocks, tree and some larger rocks, we went over the edge. I screamed out “GOD HELP ME” the next thing I knew I was danging by a tree root, the same tree that had gone over, but not let go of the same place I slid from. I looked down and could plainly see my lifeless corpse on the rocks below me and just prayed and said, “Okay God. Help me just breathe. I know you’ve got this.” That’s when I felt A pin me to the side of Ghost mountain and save my hide for the third time.

When I talk to A about me moving back home he asks me to see if the gov here will allow me to relocate to the country without me having to jump through all the medical hoops again that I have spent the past 5 years jumping through.

This kinda makes me uncomfortable. Just from a moral standpoint, nevermind all the rest of the hassles and governmental inter-workings, I would be dealing with in this beasts system.

I just got the letter last month saying they had approved me for a few years and that there would be occasional update requests. So, in essence and temporarily I have financial security, but is it real? With what we all know is ahead and coming, I cannot seem to make sense of all that A is asking of me. I have been praying about it and I just don’t get the feeling it’s the right thing to be doing at this time.

A & I are very similar people in that we both appreciate our privacy and alone time with God and prefer not to live with others. Like I said, a weird marriage, right?

A is a good man who is also very independent. I have concerns occasionally about our spiritual compatibility. I think he follows the teachings of the Essenes or possibly the Nazarenes. I’m really not sure. All I can tell you is he does not like going to church buildings.

A & I have been living apart since 2012 when we broke up and I went my worldly way for a season. I am not without blame for the hardships in this marriage. We have had our divorce paperwork ready to go and be filed for over a 5 years now, but we never seem to make it to court for one reason or another.

Sometimes I’m not sure I was ever meant to be married to begin with, even my Dad has been questioning that one. I seem to thrive in all areas of my life when I am not attached to a man. My life is weird in my opinion. lol

My maternal parents both came from a long line of people with tempers and knowing that it is something in my genes I maintain a level of control daily by prayer and time with GOD and being alone where things are calm. (This is also a factor with the Epilepsy and Aspbergers.) Most of the time I’m perfectly calm, by God’s grace alone, and other times well… you know. Sometimes I lose control and feel like a very horrible person after the fact. Sometimes I wonder if I even understand this whole concept of marital love.

You know how when you’re in school and the teachers ask what you want to be when you grew up? Well any guess what my answer was? I didn’t think about it, I didn’t hesitate, not even a little, "When I grow up I want to be a housewife and a mother, just like Grandma Wiebe is. (I was about 14ish, I think.) The only thing that changed that dream was when the doctors told me after the loss of BobbyRay (my first son 1983) that I would never carry to term and would only keep losing children. After that I lost everything about who I was. I mean EVERYTHING! Even my faith. I crawled into a whiskey bottle and didn’t come up for air until 1991.

With the passing of my Mama just before all this covid BS hit, and then the prison sentences laid upon the entire globe… well, I started to break. My ability to trust anyone or anything was toast, gone, busted, broken, zip, zilch, noscht, nadda, gone bye-bye. Then I was looking out the window one day and heard inside, “This now starts the NWO set-up, brace yourself.” I was all like, “Who are you? What are you telling me? Why can’t I just be left to grieve the loss of my MAMA without the “world” adding extra BS to my overflowing plate.” All I heard was, “The World doesn’t care. There is much deception coming and many souls will perish. Many will lose their way. I have need of you, return to ME.” That was it. I knew who I was hearing from and have not looked back since.
Then in the Spring of this year I didn’t ask permission, I just took the advice of my Dad. I didn’t pray about it, I just did it and ever since then something inside is different.

Dad suggested and even recommended that I go see A for a few weeks and get out of all the stress. Well, that all sounds fine and good and even Godly, but what if it was the wrong thing to do? I went, got myself into a “normal” headspace again. {Normal so as not to keep freaking out the people around me who care about me and were beginning to think I was preparing to self-harm when the opposite was true.

When God is working in your life and everyone else thinks you’re losing your toque, always always always check with THE BOSS first! Although stress reduction happened, I lost the breakthrough and the blessing that comes with breakthrough.
Now the struggle is more intense to reclaim that level of intimacy with my LORD again. I know HE has not left me alone, but the relationship is different, and I don’t like the change. It’s … too quiet. Kinda like what you’d expect God to do when HE is sifting or searching out the heart of a person.
This silence has been making it a challenge to keep knowing what is true path and what is derailment. I’d like to stay on the correct path and not derail.

So what do I do now? That has been the prayer and the question for months. I remember last month I prayed a directional prayer for something in my life. I think I got the signs that say “stay here” but where then does that leave this marriage and this relationship with A? How does us living apart glorify God? How does this help advance the Kingdom of God? These are the questions I ask. These are the ways in which this mind works. What does God really want me to do & am I walking in the fullness of HIS Divine will and purpose for my life? Does my life reflect Jesus? Does my life and walk show Jesus to a lost, hurting and dying world or am I just going with the flow of society and life as usual?

Please pray for me & if you have thoughts please let me know. either here or in PM. I do get the PM emails & today my notifications listed again YIPPEE! :smiley: :smiley:
Please have a blessed day and God be with you.
Shabbat Shalom

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Dear Marianne, I do not have the gift of Wisdom but I do have discernment. As you know God’s Word the key for us is to be in submission to Him in all things. So I love all your questions above. I know for myself I am asking the same questions now- I resigned my position at the schools end of the year (an answer from God which was amazing) and am really praying about what this next season is. I think I know- evangelism- but on a volunteer basis or as a paid missionary?
I have not felt the urgency of knowing righ now but have felt the urgency of evangelizing. It really seems as if we won’t be here very long.
I will be praying for you. I know that I have had some bumpy things lately via injuries and I believe the Lord is preparing me. As much as you can try to take your feelings out of this and pray like crazy to see the Lord’s will clearly on your life. I will also share that prayer with you and for you.

God bless you!

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Thank you so very much. <3

I think things are coming into play so fast.
I pray so hard for the unsaved that I know of and are around me plus been praying for the people in Afghanistan.

Thanks for all your prayers.

Praying for you Marianne. Sometimes we must wait on the Lord. If He is saying stay where you are, then do that and not listen to your head. He is leading, we just follow. Allow Him to work out His plan perfectly, even every detail. Trust Him