What Is in the Heart?

My whole life I was raised to believe it is possible to lose ones salvation. I realize many if not all on this forum don’t believe that. Even Pastor JD seems to not believe that. I have been struggling with that concept. Honestly I really don’t know what to believe on that particular subject anymore.

What I do know though is I have been struggling as of late. Still praying, still reading scripture regularly like many others. However it feels like lately my flesh nature is trying to rear it’s ugly head and honestly I’m tired of fighting it. Example would be a couple co-workers I have been dealing with. The only way I can honestly describe them is to say they are snakes. I keep catching myself thinking about how I want to respond to them and verbalize what I think of them. But that would be wrong. To my knowledge I have done nothing to deserve the way I am being treated. I have done all I can do to work with them peacefully. But there is this side of me that really wants to lash out.

The Bible speaks of what is in a man’s heart is where evil words, thoughts and actions come from to my understanding of it. Same with good words, thoughts and actions. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, so where are all these evil desires and thoughts coming from? My Heart? What’s that say about me as a Christian? To seek revenge on those who have wronged me is sin, I don’t want to feel this way. I hate that I’m even thinking about this stuff. For example I walked by the both of them today, their backs were turned to me and I had this urge to grab them both by the hair and knock their heads together.

Obviously I didn’t do it, but seriously, what is wrong with me? That behavior would be completely out of character for me. I have never really been an aggressive person, heck I’m not even a fan of confrontation. I don’t hate these people, I pray regularly that God will help me to forgive those who treat me wrong, I try to pray for them, it’s hard but I do make the effort. I don’t want to harbor bitterness or unforgiveness towards anyone.

I have been sick for a couple weeks, had to get tested for covid, found out I don’t have covid, but I do have a case of bronchitis which I have never had before in my life. I don’t normally get sick, God blessed me with a strong immune system, so I have been very healthy as a rule the majority of my life. So maybe in my weakend state the enemy is seizing an opportunity and using people to bring me down further? I don’t know…

One thing for sure though, the years of being taught it’s possible to lose ones salvation, combined with the trouble I have been dealing with. Then fighting my flesh on a daily basis is wearing me thin. In the back of my mind I think about what scripture says about what is in a man’s heart.

We are so close to the end, I don’t want to be found as an unfaithful servant, I don’t want to be found asleep at the Lords return. I feel this fear trying to get it’s claws in the back of my mind that I may miss out on the rapture due to my own weakness and due to what is apparently in my heart. Could I lose my salvation at the last minute before the Lord returns? Is that even possible?

Even these thoughts seem wrong, doesn’t seem possible because of His grace. Yet these are the thoughts I am having. I’m tired of fighting this flesh, I want a pure heart, I want a clean mind. I want the joy of the Lord. Not fear, not bitterness, not thoughts of vengeance. This is my prayer… to be like Christ, to love my neighbor as He does, not to seek vengeance, to forgive regardless of what is done to me, to have perfect peace, to feel joy regardless of what is going on.


@MDLange82 :dove:

My whole life I was raised to believe it is possible to lose ones salvation.

That’s the Devil’s lie. Once a person consciously and sincerely comes to the Lord for salvation, they are saved…one and done. If not, Jesus would have to die over and over, ie “IT IS FINISHED”…rest in that assurance, my friend. All our sins - past, present and future - are forgiven. Don’t let the Devil steal your peace and joy of eternal salvation. He’s a liar, a thief…remember that!!!

…flesh nature is trying to rear it’s ugly head and honestly I’m tired of fighting it.

Stop fighting…pray about the problem, person or thing…and leave it there at the Lord’s feet. Let Him do the battle while you go on about your business. Pray for your enemies and it will change YOU…may not change them but “God’s ways and thoughts are not ours.” Choose to trust Him, relax and let Him do what you can’t.

where are all these evil desires and thoughts coming from? My Heart? What’s that say about me as a Christian?

It says that you are human. You are wayyyyyyy to hard on yourself and need to give yourself a break. Trials & tribulations will come and go because we live in a sinful world with a sinful nature. Until we are in Glory, these things will be because of sin. “Be angry and sin not.” This is your goal and a goal that you’ve achieved. Doesn’t say not to be angry but to not engage in a sinful manner because of it. This isn’t always going to happen but it’s always the goal. Remember, you are human!!!


You may have stressed yourself to the point of sickness. All that bubbling, festering under the surface most likely manifest itself physically.
Been there…dozens of times honey.

miss out on the rapture due to my own weakness and due to what is apparently in my heart.

Can’t happen…you are a child of God and you belong to Him. NO-thing, NO-one can snatch you from the Father’s hands. Being saved doesn’t mean perfection, free from sin, etc…we are finite beings. The heart is deceitful, emotions fluctuate so we should trust God, not our emotional upheavals. “Be anxious for nothing”…He cares for you. Trust in His promises and receive freedom in Christ by releasing all worries to Him.

Blessings & Maranatha :revolving_hearts:


@LDHW said almost exactly what I was typing. The only thing I would say different is don’t go to sleep angry, it’s time to let go of what other do to wrong you. Leave it at the feet of the Lord and pray for them.

If you weren’t saved, you wouldn’t be worried about it. We all have these struggles with the flesh and the enemy likes to remind us that we struggle, especially in a weakened state of being sick, but that’s why we take our thoughts captive.


Short answer: If you think that the sacrifice that Jesus gave us on the cross is not enough to save you, do you really think that you as a human can do something for staying saved?

Salvation is not a human concept - its the promise God gave us when he screamed on the cross “It is finished!”. So you can try to lose your salvation but you wont be successful. And yes, we will all have battles with the flesh. But that is natural and brings us closer to the Lord by confessing our sins.

The bigges lie the devil can plant in a believers heart is that they can get lost again and they have to do something to stay saved. If you are walking on this path - leave it. We are saved by grace through faith and not by works because we are humans and cannot save us. Thanks the Lord for that!


Hi Matthew, I can really relate, because I was raised in the Church of Christ as a child. They can get extremely legalistic, and they also believe you can loose your salvation. I mentioned this in a post long ago, but they believe in the A through Z’s of salvation. Just an observation from a friend, but you need to put your helmet back on. Obviously I’m referring to the helmet of salvation. Without it, the devil can strike a fatal blow in your Christian walk. From there, he’s got you where he wants you. The good news is, however, once you gave your life to Christ, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit. So, what part of being sealed don’t you understand? Right now, you’re running on emotion, and it’s stealing your joy and effectiveness in the knowledge of being eternally His. And that’s all. Satan can’t get you back in his fold, but he can drag you down so you won’t steal any souls from his kingdom. Now, go put your helmet back on…

Oh, and welcome to the human race. You’re starting to sound like me—glad I’m not the only one going through this.


Matthew, I went through what you are going through about a year ago. I fell into a sin and God took me to the woodshed. I t was the most miserable time of my life. I doubted my salvation. And it took me about 6 months to recover and get back on my feet. But because of this experience, I have learned a lot and have become stronger since it:

a)I am just as evil during my best 5 minutes as my worst 5 minutes. During times of not sinning, the truth of the matter is that I was still unworthy. No matter how victorious we are in this life, we are still unworthy and still sinners. And that won’t change until we get our new glorified bodies and sin is no more. This experience has gotten me to “get over myself.” I used to think I was a “good Christian.” That was pride. God has shown me that there is nothing good in me except what is done by the Holy Spirit. I must decrease, He must increase.

b) Anything good that comes out of me is not from my flesh – it is from the Holy Spirit which was given to me when I first believed. I have ignored the ministry of the Holy Spirit! The Holy Spirit raised Jesus from the dead. The Holy Spirit allowed Jesus in the desert to say no to the devil. That power is in me and I am not tapping into it. I know what my sin weaknesses are. Instead of trying to stop doing those things, I have surrendered to God. My flesh is not going to change in this world. But I can ask the Holy Spirit to over-ride my flesh, to take control, to change my desire, my thoughts. That has led to a more victorious life for me. When those thoughts and desires start to creep in, often multiple times in a day, I try to get away in a quiet room pray and take those thoughts captive and ask the Holy Spirit to minister to me.

c) If my salvation can be lost, what kind of gift is that? What kind of joy does this bring? We already know no one can keep the law. So, how can anyone keep his salvation? I struggled through this, and a K-love pastor over the phone helped me through a low time. He first asked my testimony to be sure that I did get saved. Then he gave me pages of Bible verses affirming who I am in Christ which I read each day until it became solidified. Now in my case, I did fall into a sin, and my fellowship with Jesus was broken. And, I John 1:8-9 is the formula for restoring that.

Ephesians 1:12-14 (AKJV): 12 that we should be to the praise of his glory, who first trusted in Christ. 13 in whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise, 14 which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory.

After we believed the gospel, we were sealed with the Holy Spirit until the day of redemption. Matthew you are sealed by the Holy Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead! What power is greater than that?

Ephesians 2:8-9: 8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: 9 not of works, lest any man should boast.

Titus 3:5 = not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;

Matthew, unsaved people don’t worry about losing their salvation or pleasing Jesus. The fact that you are yearning for that glorified body and to please Jesus is faith!



You are securely in the Father’s hands - you are carved on His palm and He HAS saved you eternally and that cannot be taken away. Be encouraged brother.


I have been struggling with the same. Spiritual warfare is running rampant. As soon as these thoughts start to creep up, I take them captive. I get in the word, listen to worship music and or a sermon. Take your thoughts captive.

Philippians 4:8 - Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

We are human and will still go through this, but remember, you are a child of God. Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Romans 8: 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

God’s love for you is forever!


As I was reading your story it hit me when you said “I want a pure mind and clean heart” that that is what we will have in our glorified bodies. What a wonderful thought that we won’t have to worry about battling with our flesh anymore!
We do have to renew our minds daily now because all kinds of thoughts enter in from the enemy and it does get exhausting fighting against them. Please Lord, create in me a clean heart and a pure mind!